


The Nature Of Things

by Jorque



Series: The Wolf You Feed [1]
Category: Naruto, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Angst, BAMF Hatake Kakashi, Blood and Violence, Crossover, Disclaimer: Obito doesn't show up for a while, Fluff, Fox Demon Uzumaki Naruto, Future Character Death, Hatake Kakashi Needs a Hug, Hatake Kakashi is a Troll, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Kid Uzumaki Naruto, Like sloooow, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Hatake Kakashi, Psychological Trauma, Slow Burn, Uzumaki Naruto and Ramen, Wolf Hatake Kakashi, only a little
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2020-10-26 03:07:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20735240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jorque/pseuds/Jorque
Summary: With a not so pleasant upbringing, Kakashi Hatake has learned to roll with the blows that life deals you.The question stands. Can he teach that to 20+ kids trying to push him into an early grave?All the while readying the Pro-heroes of tomorrow, the past lurks in the dark.There's no escaping from the deeds already done, from the beasts howling for their pound of flesh.(Adopted)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So, it's been a while, but I've finally posted again. Yay!
> 
> And it's all thanks to evening_rain_lily who not only helps me with my questionable grammar, but also helped me figure out how I wanted this to go.
> 
> On a side note, PLEASE BE WARY OF THE TAGS and future tag updates. Triggering content may come up, and your health should be priority 1.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> Constructive criticism will be appreciated.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours?—King, Lauren Aquilina

Laughter echoes as little feet toddle through long grass and pink petals, the biting wind whipping the flowers and fine blades against stretched arms as they reach out.

Small hands brace as unsteady legs stumble, meeting soft fur instead of rough earth, stubby fingers clinging as they twist in the light strands.

Still, knees thud and scrape as they meet the ground, a pained whimper following a startled gasp, the sound echoing just as the laughter did.

(The laughter. Who was laughing? He can't remember. He can't hear it anymore.)

A dark wet snout noses at a flushed, round cheek and big, round teary eyes meet slitted, dark and wild ones.

They stare at each other, transfixed.

Screaming cuts through the still, heavy air, the voice—voices—young and pained. (Where did the wind go?)

Neither boy or animal move as unfamiliar (familiar) sounds blend together, their eyes locked as images blur, as past overlaps with future, as the screaming gets louder and the air gets colder, and he can't _ move- _

Before the image rights itself, as if nothing happened (_something happened_).

The child—the man—lunges forward as those tiny—scarred, tainted, _ drenched_—hands reach for the wolf again.

(Something happened, _ what did you try to show me?_)

The wolf, no, the _ pup, _turns, matted grey fur ruffling in a breeze that isn't there, trail marked by pawprints that drip liquid red as it slinks through the paper doors of a house filled with roaring activity, a house filled with heavy silence. 

  
  
  


(Something is wrong.

But he...he can't...why can't he..?)

  
  


The child stands alone, confused and angry. Left behind.

(Just like...like...)

.

.

.

** _Why can't I remember?_ **

** _._ **

** _._ **

** _._**

  
  


...Remember? What is there to remember?


	2. Don't you know i ain't afraid to shed a little blood?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take a hit, shoot me down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: Bishop Briggs, White Flag

He's running through the woods, fast enough that he knows he’ll be nothing more than a blur to the human eye. It’s still not as fast as he could go, though. Not even close.

He's keenly aware of the beast writhing under his skin, urging him to shift, to run and run and run. Dig his claws into the dirt and snarl at the sky.

Kakashi is an expert at ignoring his instincts, though, and even if this mission is child’s play, it wouldn't do any good if the yakuza knew who just broke into the last of their “highly secured bunkers.” 

Their words, not his.

Kakashi scoffs under his breath.

Honestly, at this point, he can't even consider them an organization with how few their numbers are. The Shie Hassaikai definitely isn't what it used to be.

Though he supposes it means he's good at his job if nothing else.

It had taken his team a handful of years to thin out their numbers and resources. They had to do it all from the shadows, untraceable and anonymously, given that none of them wanted a target to be painted on their backs.

But the Shie Hassaikai is finally standing on its last legs.

He feels a small spark of elation that comes with every mission completed, but shoves it aside.

Emotions can get you killed out in the field, and Kakashi can’t afford to be distracted right now.

He pulls himself back to the present, buries _ Kakashi _ under layers of rules, strategies, and calculations, and becomes _ Hound _ instead. The mantle settles over him, familiar like a well-worn mask, razor-sharp focus and calm falling over him. 

(Even if his attention is divided between his surroundings, contingency plans and pushing aside his instincts, Hound doesn't feel the strain of it as Kakashi would.)

He's almost out of the tree line when the rhythmic sound of his pursuers' footfalls are suddenly accompanied by the hiss of metal. The hairs on the back of his neck rise up, his senses tingling in warning.

They're getting close. 

Hound speeds up, until his lungs burn and his limbs ache. The wind rushes past him, drowning out his hearing with its distant roar.

Before he fully realizes it he’s throwing his weight to the left, senses screaming at him. Something cuts through the air, whistling past him. 

_ Close enough_.

Hound grabs at his vest, activates the tracker attached to the cloth and starts to count down. His team will need at least two minutes, he couldn't risk them being any closer if the sensory Quirk users were to overlook the trap. 

Springing back into action as another blade cuts past him, he jumps onto the nearest tree, using one of his knives to dig into the rough bark and pull himself up—his claws too distinctive for him to use. 

Weaving through the branches, Hound deliberately makes as much noise as possible, leading his pursuers without being too obvious. He's confident enough in his skills to take them on—even outnumbered one to eight but he's learned to rely on his team the hard way. He'll have to keep their attention.

(Hound doesn't think of blinding light and pitch black smoke and crumbling walls and _ sacrifices_.)

He comes to an abrupt halt, branches shaking with the unspent moment, high enough in the tree to be concealed. He watches the ground carefully, keeping an eye out for their targets. 

Fifty seconds and counting.

He almost decides to move on, to keep playing this game of cat and mouse, when he catches sight of their targets. He picks out seven of them. Seven, not eight. 

With only a twitch of his fingers as a sign of surprise, he hunkers down against the bark and waits for who he now realizes is one of the two sensors.

A flash of reflected sunlight is the only warning he gets, the only warning he needs before his body moves. Blades, small and thin like shards of ice, cut past him as Hound lunges, and before the man can react, Hound is in his blindspot. Tanto in hand, he lashes out.

Red splatters on the ground as his blade pierces the man’s heart—or it would have, had the man not shifted at the last moment. His left lung and kidney are shredded instead. Without hesitation Hound angles the blade so it slices a vital point in his spinal cord as he pulls it out. Sloppy, he thinks distantly, flicking the blade to rid it of the blood spray. 

The yakuza is dead before his body hits the ground, dead even before Hound slips away through the trees again.

Hound ignores the sick crunch of bones as the man crumbles to the ground, sharp hearing trained on the rest of their targets. 

Thirty seconds left.

With a sound akin to a war cry at the sight of their comrade’s corpse, the yakuza below seem to realize that he isn't just some petty thief who got lucky. 

_ The wonders of underestimation, _ Hound thinks.

Despite their misjudgment of him though, Hound knows the targets aren't stupid. He'll have to be more careful now.

And as if to prove him right, the other sensory Quirk user finally decides to put himself to good use. A few moments later Hound finds himself running again, just not in the opposite direction of his pursuers.

_ Zero. _ Time was up. 

He vaults out of the trees and slams into the nearest target, knocking them clean off their feet. Rolling with the momentum, he straightens into a fighting stance. A woman with brawny muscles and thick black hair recovers first and lunges at him, fists swinging. 

Knives in hand, Hound ducks under her flying fists—_sloppy, poor form_—and kicks at her knee.

There's a rumbling in the trees as he slashes at an opening in the woman’s stance, a low, distant roar, almost like rumbling thunder. 

And then massive roots and vines, thrashing tendrils of wood, burst out of the earth, spearing a yakuza through the gut. They wrap around the limbs of another, and pull with a sickening twist, the sound of flesh and bone ripping and breaking. _ Tiger. _

Kunai and senbon whistled through the air, piercing skin—undoubtedly laced with poison. The man they hit would be dead within the minute. _ Jackal._

The woman jerks back to avoid his blade, losing her footing for only a moment before she catches herself. Her eyes flick between their surroundings, alarmed, but she rears her fist back anyway, muscles bunching unnaturally.

_ Izumo Kouma, Quirk: Counter, allows her to absorb vibrations and expel them with contact. _

From the information they have on all the major members of the Shie Hassaika that remain, her punches have been documented as lethal if they hit a vital area. That makes physically attacking her difficult, even if she gives him the perfect openings, his blows would only aid her.

That's why she has to be taken out first.

He swerves out of the path of her fist, grabbing her wrist and twisting it in a sharp motion. It takes more force than Hound expected, but her bones were probably sturdier than most given her Quirk. Luckily Hound was stronger than most.

A sharp crack, and a scream. The woman's wrist dangles limply in Hounds grasp. 

Still holding onto her wrist, his other palm shoots forward, aiming for her nose. The woman leans back, pulling her wrist free, but Hound shadows the motion.

He catches a handful of short dark hair in his fist, yanking her head down towards his rising knee. He feels her nose break, blood staining his pants even as his leg goes numb with the force. He lets her go. 

Kouma stumbles back, clutching at her face with a muffled yell. Taking advantage of her lapse in concentration, Hound leaps closer and tangles her left leg in his, throwing his weight forward. She hits the ground, _hard_, and Hound pins her with his body while he raises his hand, knife aimed at her throat. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees one of the other yakuza running towards them, but his hand doesn't falter.

The blade slices through her artery right as a wooden tendril skewers the approaching yakuza mere feet from him. 

Hound rises to his feet and dismantles the second yakuza that comes charging at him. _ Shinji Yaseiki. Quirk: Gunpowder, can produce a highly explosive powder from his skin, a lick of fire and he's a walking explosion. _A slash across the throat kills him before he reaches for a lighter. 

From there on he makes his way to the remaining yakuza, their movements becoming desperate and unpredictable. One of them lunges for the unprotected back of Hound’s teammate, and he moves, sparks flying as steel grates against steel. 

Now in the middle of the chaos, Hound stands back to back with ANBU Jackal, dressed almost identically to him, all black with a blank white mask and cloak hiding any distinctive features.

There's a lull in the fight, two of the remaining yakuza circling them warily like prowling wolves afraid to approach. Hound feels two light pats on his hip, and knows that his partner is uninjured. He returns the gesture, signalling that they're good to continue.

Although neither of the remaining yakuza are much of a threat on their own, together the two cover each others weak points, their Quirks working effectively in tandem—most likely why they were hired as a pair.

A competition in teamwork isn't anything Hound is worried about, though. 

The dark-haired man—_Usui Sora, Quirk: Teleportation_—blurs out of existence, reappearing and locking blades with Jackal.

The sandy-haired woman—_Miyata Yasuko, Quirk: Close Combat, enhances her reflexes and makes her stronger with every successive hit—_lunges for Hound, scoring a solid blow across his chest before being pushed back with a well-timed swipe of poisoned knives.

She flips, landing neatly by her partner. 

A hail of senbon rains down on their opponents, courtesy of Jackal. The third yakuza dances around thrashing vines, fire flickering to life around his fingertips—a weak fire Quirk user, but Hound trusts that he’ll be dead soon enough.

Usui simply teleports out of the way, while a single senbon grazes Miyata. They were poisoned as well—the woman would be out of commission in just a few minutes, so Hound turns his attention to the man who promptly disappears. 

Hound disliked teleporters. 

Usui reappears above him, his blade crashing down on Hound's tanto. He twists his arms and flicks his wrist sharply and the targets blade goes flying out of Usui’s grip. He lunges forward while his opponent’s still in the air. 

For a moment, he thinks that Usui will teleport out of the way again, but in the corner of Hound's eye he sees a cloaked figure half-hidden in the shadows of the tree—his third teammate—thrust their hand in an upwards arc. Wooden tendrils mimic the action as they wrap around the teleporter's legs, which seems to shock the man enough to be kept in place.

His body slumps to the ground a second later, blood pooling from the slash in his throat to beneath his corpse.

* * *

When they walk into ANBU Headquarters, the three of them finally allow themselves to relax. Marginally.

Even if they didn't have to drag the corpses with them—leaving them for the Shie Hassaikai to find, a very clear message of _give up, or else_—exhaustion still clung to their bones heavier than what was anticipated.

After turning in their mission report—the desk manager frowning at the chicken scratch scrawled onto the paper (It was Hound's turn to write it)—they head to the showers.

"Senpai?" Tiger, Tenzō, asks hesitantly as they enter the locker room.

Hound hums in acknowledgment.

"Why didn't we just kill the tracker?"

Glancing behind him at the two masked figures, Hound answers with a lazy, "Too much work," before grabbing a towel, walking into the first open shower stall and closing the door.

He’s already starting to slip back into _Kakashi_. 

It took them two days of non-stop travelling to get to the hidden compound in Tokyo. The Shie Hassaikai's best—and only remaining—tracker hot on their tail. It had taken a few swims in a river, several false trails and a four-hour delay for them to lose him. 

Hound would have liked to deal with said tracker the permanent way, but there was no telling how the Yakuza would react to one of it's last important members disappearing.

There's a reason it took the Special Assassination and Tactical Squad almost ten years to thin them out, and the ANBU don't play around. But neither do the Shie Hassaikai. They're influential, and if they were to abandon their moral code, it would certainly spell trouble for Japan.

That's why no one touches the Shie Hassaikai compound either. Corner a dog and he’s more likely to bite, after all, and pushing them to drastic actions now would be counterproductive.

Jackal scoffs knowingly before moving to the stall to Hound’s left. "More like it would cause a shitstorm," he says, offhandedly.

A thoughtful expression crosses Tenzou’s face, hesitation leaving him (theyre not actually supposed to talk about missions after finishing them) and he walks into the stall on Hound’s right before softly closing the door.

Within the privacy of the stalls, Hound takes off his mask and cloak, the mission officially over.

The warn water feels like heaven on his skin and Kakashi grabs for the soap with the urgency of a man who's been covered in mud and algea long enough for it to dry. He spends a good amount of time digging sludge out of his hair.

Stepping out of the hot shower, Kakashi feels his mission persona evaporating with the steam from his scorched hands entirely, Hound slithering to the back of his mind, only to come out again when needed. The sudden change in mindset is enough to leave anyone reeling, but a younger Kakashi had luckily had enough foresight to train himself out of the immediate impulses that followed, before they became a habit.

When he reaches the, very generously named, locker room, the oldest of the team is already dressed—quite fancily, Kakashi would admit, if he was feeling kind enough.

"I didn't think you were capable of not looking like a colourful hobo, Genma." 

Jackal—Genma's head snaps up from where he was fiddling with his tie, before he shoots Kakashi an offended look.

Although Kakashi's pleased smile is hidden behind a small folded towel, the material does absolutely nothing to hide the smug upturn of his eyes.

"Excuse you, it's not my fault that you’re incapable of appreciating fashion."

Right at that moment, Tenzou walks out of the showers, water dripping in his steps and long hair hanging damply over his face.

"Are we talking about Genma's fashion choices again?" He says, still a little shy about teasing.

Genma turns away from them, groaning.

"See, Genma, even Tenzou's acknowledged it." Kakashi drawls with a tiny smirk.

"Fuck off," he snaps out goodnaturedly.

Kakashi gives an over dramatic gasp, moving behind Tenzou and clapping his hands over his ears.

"Genma, there are children present," he says with the appropriate facial expressions, making sure he sounds as scandalized as possible.

Tenzou swats Kakashi's hands away, grumbling about almost being sixteen and that he wasn't that much younger than Kakashi, _ dammit_.

Kakashi blatantly ignores him, and turns to his designated locker for this compound to start dressing in his set of traveling clothes. It was going to be a long trip back to Musutafu.

“Shisui didn’t miss out on much this time,” Genma says, changing the topic. 

“How is he doing?” Kakashi asks, playing along. He hadn’t had a chance to visit Shisui before their mission.

Tenzo shrugs. “He’s recovering.” 

Genma snorts. 

“He’s doing fine; complaining his ass off about not being able to do anything, but he'll live.”

Kakashi hums thoughtfully. Shisui's reputation regarding anything related to the words "hospital" and "rest" is almost as notorious as his own. 

"You’re meeting up with Raidō tonight, right?" he asks, mercilessly disregarding Genma's evasion while pulling out one of his custom black masks, blinking innocently.

"...yes," Genma sighs, looking forlorn. Kakashi frowns in confusion, usually he'd be vibrating with excitement at the prospect of seeing his fiancè.

"I'm meeting up with him...and his mother at seven."

Kakashi and Tenzōu wince in tandem.

It's no secret that Ms. Namiashi doesn't like Genma. Sometimes Kakashi wonders how Genma even managed to get her blessing for him and Raidou to be engaged. Probably a lot of bribery.

"Would you like me to grow you some flowers?" Tenzōu asks shyly.

Sometimes it's hard to forget that he's still a teenager, and that he was a stilted awkward kid when he first joined Team Ro. Sometimes Kakashi forgets the little boy clinging to him as hard as Kakashi was to him, both so afraid and confused.

Genma's reply breaks Kakashi from his thoughts.

"No thanks, kid, but I appreciate the offer," he says, voice softening ever-so-slightly.

There's no denying Tenzōu had grown on them like the plants he could manipulate.

Genma looks down at his watch and sighs heavily.

"I've got to get going. I look fine, right? Kurenai forced me to wear this," he says, uncharacteristically nervous, looking down at the dark brown suit with a grimace.

“No wonder,” Kakashi says wryly, his tone causing Genma to glare.

"Well, it goes with your hair, and the purple accents bring out your eyes nicely," Tenzōu says.

Kakashi pauses, and then turns to stare at Tenzo. Genma raises an eyebrow at him, expression delighted.

Tenzo blushes, cheeks flushing red. 

"What!? I got bored, a-and you gave me those magazines for women, and I had nothing better to do but read them!" 

Genma whips around to face Kakashi, a sly grin stretching over his face.

Kakashi pointedly pulls the mask up to his nose while grabbing his backpack containing his ID (fake) and the rest of everything he'll need to get home.

"I gave them to you for the cooking tips so you wouldn’t accidentally poisoning yourself again." 

Tenzōu turns even redder, ears burning scarlet.

"Guess I was a little to subtle," Kakashi muses. "They’re on the back of the magazine," he stage-whispers, turning away from his embarrassed kohai and heading for the door.

"Shouldn't you be going?" He asks passing Genma who's eyes widen. "It's 6:45."

Kakashi walks out of the compound into the warm air and busy streets of Tokyo, a smile hidden under his mask.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, changes have been made from the original, and I hope things flow more clearly now.


	3. The Monsters Running Wild (inside of me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: Faded, Alan Walker.
> 
> So, I kind of got way ahead of myself and this chapter just kept getting longer and longer (what makes you think I've got no impulse control?)...and I had to cut the chapter in half.
> 
> Anyway I've noticed that my Kakashi is becoming a bit of an OC in personality, so just beware.
> 
> Check out the notes at the end!

By the time Kakashi walks up the steps to his apartment, it's already dark.

He’d taken his time to get back to his apartment (_empty, _ ** _alone_**), after arriving in the city and had stopped on the way to pick up a few groceries to replace those that had most likely already become sentient from age.

He hasn't stepped foot in his apartment for about a month and wasn't really living in it before that, either. Kakashi has had the small studio for almost two years now, ever since he moved out of the ANBU barracks in the main base, but it had never quite come to feel like _ home_. 

It's likely because of the amount of missions he’s been taking (or the fact that he's only ever had one _ home _ and that it had nothing to do with bricks and walls or stone and wood.) 

Nonetheless, It would be at least a week before he would be assigned another mission, if he was lucky. He had been removed from the mission roster due to his...eagerness in previous assignments, and upon gaining this information right before departing for the Shie Hassaikai bunker, Kakashi had given Hiruzen Sarutobi's office door a truly impressive glare, as Genma told him later.

Now, standing mere feet from his bed and with a month’s worth of exhaustion catching up to him, Kakashi privately admits that he might have overdone it a bit. 

A flash of pain shoots down his spine and his muscles spasm as his left hand shoots out for the railing, his legs giving out on the 2nd floors' steps. He grits his teeth against a pained whine when his knees hit the tile, the impact reverberating through his bones

Why hadn’t he chosen a building with elevators again?

Scrunching his eyes closed, Kakashi takes in a few long measured breaths before gathering all the strength he can muster and heaving himself to his feet. He moves slowly as he gathers his groceries to his one hand - careful not to rip anything with retracted metal claws that never go away, no matter which form he's in - and leaving the other on the railing as he makes his way up.

He certainly won't be doing much the first few days of his leave, that’s for sure.

Maybe he could visit Naruto later.

A thrill of excitement runs through him at the prospect of getting to see his old sensei's son. The anticipation is tinged with longing and pain, though, but Kakashi pushes that down with the cramps wracking his body.

Instead, he thinks about all of the new books that he knows he’ll find in the apartment, with an entire week to himself to catch up on his reading. 

It feels like an eternity has passed by the time that he reaches his door, slightly out of breath and with a thin layer of sweat on his brow. He's just about to push his key into the door when he hears movement in the apartment. Faint rustling noises and light, dancing steps.

Another flash of pain and Kakashi struggles not to wheeze audibly. 

_ This _ is why he absolutely _ hates _ this form - he can shift himself into the normal human physique, but his body clearly wasn't built to maintain it. What was the point of being able to do something if you couldn’t do it properly? He would rather just forget that he has the ability at all, but his superiors seem to think that it's a useful trick. 

He hasn't shifted back to his natural form yet for that reason (the itch under his skin seems to intensify at the thought), preferring to do it in the safety of his apartment - unfortunately that makes this the worst moment for Kakashi to have an intruder, his hearing not being sharp enough in this form to pinpoint what, or who it is. 

Regardless, Kakashi tilts his head and tries to pick up on what is going on behind the door.

His apartment doesn't have a lot of windows, one of the reasons he chose it. That and the fact that it's on the eighth floor, making it much harder for assassins and spies to access - that also seems to extend to him when his limbs decide to be uncooperative.

Although, targets with similar living conditions had never stopped Hound from getting to _them_ before.

He listens for a few more seconds. After confirming that there is someone else in his apartment, he braces himself. Taking two small knives from their hiding place on his person while carefully lowering his groceries to the floor, he takes a breath and turns the key.

He feels no need to break a perfectly good door when he could just open it. 

Besides, Kakashi has a suspicion that the intruder is (mostly) harmless.

Kakashi pulls open the door, automatically tensing aching muscles in preparation in case his pain addled brain is wrong. What he finds inside, though is aggravating in the fact that he was right, and he’s sure that he’s letting it show right now..

The green monstrosity before him gives a blinding smile.

(A little piece of Kakashi's soul withers and dies at its intensity.)

(The little remainder of Kakashi's soul sings at the blatant joy aimed at him.)

"Ah! Welcome back! How was your mission? Ah, right. You’re not allowed to say. I bet you’re hungry, though! I made curry!"

It takes a while for the screaming aimed at him to register as words.

"...Ah...I didn't expect you..." The sentence trails off as Kakashi takes in his apartment, or what used to be his apartment.

Walking past him, Gai picks the groceries up from the floor and closes the door behind him. It's a while before he realises that all the groceries have been put away and Gai's talking

"-apparently, the skunk smell spread through the entire building! Turns out there was more than one skunk."

_ How did a skunk even get there? How did more than one skunk get there? _

"So, I had to stay longer. You don't mind, do you?" Gai asks, dark eyes wide and pleading. 

_ Skunks. _

"Rival?"

_ In Japan. _

"Kakashi?"

All of a sudden, the floor looks much closer than it was a second ago.

And there are arms around him that weren't there before. His face is pressed against something soft but firm. It's green.

It's Gai.

He's saying something. He looks worried, and angry?

Is it pity?

Kakashi feels angry. And then guilty. And then ashamed.

_ Don't look at me. _

Abruptly, he pushes away from the older man and heads in the direction of the bathroom, the only closed off room with a door that can lock.

_ Don't look at me like that. _

It hurts to move. His skin feels wrong on him, like he’s wearing an ill-fitting piece of clothing. The phantom sensation of ears twitching and a tail swaying behind him make his skin crawl. His feet and legs feel off, like he could stumble on this unfamiliar gait. 

It's wrong. Wrong, wrong, _ wrong , wrong, wro-_

The mantra cuts off when he's swept off his feet.

The feeling does not stop.

Gai moves them behind the divider that separates his “bedroom”, his unhappy expression making it clear that he will not let Kakashi lock himself away.

He lowers Kakashi to the mattress, gently as if he's afraid he'll break him.

_ This. _

His clothes are taken off with care, Gai clearly focusing hard on not touching his bare skin - warm and clammy, until the only article of clothing left is his boxers.

_ This _ is what makes him loathe his bare form with _ every inch _ of his being. 

It makes him look _weak._

(Because he is. Because he can barely find the energy to turn his head away when Gai tucks him in like a child.)

(Like he's used to this.)

"I'll just be a second." Gai whispers, mindful of his volume for once, and despite it being out of care, Kakashi feels angry all over again.

He tries to wait until Gai will inevitably leave (there's a sting of guilt), but the pain rockets up, his back arching with the strain of keeping quiet.

He can't wait.

The tether of frayed control keeping his body human slowly untangles. He's learned the hard way that letting go too fast can cause serious backlash.

The unwavering itch grows, and he deliberately relaxes his muscles as his skin pulls tight. It isn't long before the cramps start, settling into his very bones accompanied by chills and heat and shivering. The bedding will be soaked with sweat by the time it's all over.

When Gai once asked him what it felt like to shift back to his natural half wolf, half human state it had been the first time he had witnessed it, both of them still teenagers, and Kakashi answered him honestly, too exhausted to try and lie.

_ "It feels like growing pains in a limb that was shattered."_

He still remembers the first time he was forced to hide himself. It had felt so wrong, unbearable. It had been an accident, his body changing in the middle of a nightmare.

He remembers being forced to shift back, too, only an hour after the shift. It had been too early, too fast. It is Kakashi's first memory of hearing himself beg.

A knock on the door grabs his attention, the creak of the divider making his head turn. Gai is standing at the entrance, a bowl of soup—his favorite, Kakashi can already tell, the light smell of eggplants and the spice of cayenne and onions drifting over—and a glass of water in hand.

For a handful of years, Gai had been Kakashi's only person, his only friend - though, he would never admit that out loud. During that period they've learned practically everything about each other, like when Kakashi needs his space, to be left alone. Like when Gai needs to be left to show that he cares.

Like how the wet cloth Gai uses to wipe Kakashi's forehead makes him feel just that, cared for.

(Gai had always been peculiar to Kakashi. The man didn't care what other people said about him, yet he always needed others' acknowledgement. It had frustrated the ANBU opperative that despite his harsh words, the spandex enthusiast _ needed _ to show that he cared for him. His stubbornness was infuriating.

(But it worked, if Gai's goal was to become one of Kakashi's precious people.)

Something in his face must have shown because Gai gives him a fond but worried look, as a mother would to their sick child. It reminds Kakashi of a mother wolf and her cub and he has to fight off a cringe at the thought of Gai with the tiny version of Gai. He puts the cold cloth on the table, gives him a bright smile and two thumbs up before walking out of his room and out of his apartment, closing the door with a quiet click - giving Kakashi his space.

Now in complete darkness, Kakashi gives a strained, whispering laugh and feels immensely grateful for the relief the silence and darkness gives his ears and eyes.

Gai will be back later when the worst of the transition is over. He always comes back.

Turning his head back into the pillow, he lets a few stray tears hit the fabric.

He's always emotional during shifts. 

It’s the hormones, he thinks, the pillow muffling a gasp. Just hormones.

  
  


* * *

He feels sore the next day.

Kakashi is lying in bed, sipping on the last bit of his soup—it’s cold now, and he's tired and sore and sticky and smelly and_ awake _ and beyond irritated.

There's another clang from the kitchen and Kakashi's eye twitches.

Figures that a few hours of silence would be too much for the “Great Green Beast” to handle.

One might think he is being dramatic, but it's five in the morning right now and he’s only had two hours of sleep after shifting.

Kakashi has contemplated throwing Gai through the window several times now, but frankly, he doesn't think he can even find the energy to stand.

There's the sound of something shattering, and Kakashi’s patience seems to break with it.

He rolls into his overabundance of pillows and lets out a frustrated groan.

He catches a scent, nose pressed to the cotton of the pillow. It's familiar, musky but sweet, warm. 

Cinnamon, with a trace of smoke.

A pang of longing echoes through him, and Kakashi burrows further into the sheets. He feels too tattered and fatigued to do anything else.

He's almost asleep again when he notices that all noises have stopped.

Almost asleep when he hears the sound of feet hitting the floor.

_ Almost _ asleep when Gai skids into the room, a plate of curry balanced on each hand.

Kakashi sighs in resignation.

"Morning, Rival! I hope you slept well! I brought breakfast! My famous-" (_ infamous _, Kakashi thinks)"extra hot curry!"

Kakashi's ears flatten against his hair, still sensitive, and he doesn't move from his nest of pillows.

"Ah! But don’t worry, I know you can’t quite handle it-" Kakashi twitches, "so I only made it mild."

There is no reply.

"I can get you a glass of milk-"

Earlier embarrassment forgotten, Kakashi swings around and sits up, arm outstretched for the plate -filled with porridge, not curry- with a fierce look in his eye.

Gai's face is the picture of triumph.

Kakashi pretends he didn’t just fall for his trap (pretends he didn’t know what Gai was trying to do, pretends he didn't smell the porridge with his now-stronger sense of smell, pretends he didn't use it as an excuse to turn around and search his face for pity, disgust, anger.)

"Yosh! Now, I should be off!" Gai puts the other plate on Kakashi's nightstand and strikes his nice guy pose - blinding smile, strange bowl-cut and all - before heading for the front door.

"Your food?" Kakashi says, confused.

"I have already eaten, thank you for asking! But feel free to go for seconds, I left plenty!" Gai exclaims through the divider.

"You’re getting too thin." Kakashi hears him mutter.

Before he can ask Gai where he's going, the older man is already out the door.

Still a little confused, he just sits and stares at the white slob on his plate before taking the spoon in his hand, retracted claws lightly clicking against the metal and scarving it all down. He knows that its a mistake long before his stomach protests, but he has lost calories to make up for - shifting is quite the workout.

It takes a lot of effort to keep everything down, but he manages.

Next: a much needed shower.

He stumbles around like a newborn pup for much longer than is necessary, and when he finally reaches the bathroom, he's frustrated and covered in a new layer of sweat.

His feet - paws now - move softly as he gathers everything he needs, whispering across the white tiles.

By the time he's in the tub, almost falling into the scalding water a few times, he's out of breath and ready for a nap. It doesn't take long for his pale skin to become as pink as his most recent wounds - a knife slash at his thigh and the graze of a bullet on his hip from a rather clever assassin, now dead. There is no doubt that they'll scar - the ANBU medics aren't _ that _ talented. 

He leans back, careful of his sensitive tail at the base of his spine, and stretches out his legs - the grimy gray fur that leads just above his “knees” - what counts as knees with his biology, anyways - still stubbornly sticking to his skin.

With a grimace, the wolf-shifter grabs the shampoo, heaves a sigh at how long this is going to take, and starts to scrub down, leaving the most tedious appendages - the big wolf ears atop his skull, for last.

After washing himself until his skin feels raw, Kakashi steps out of the tub on hesitant paws, legs still a bit shaky. 

(He sits on the ground staring at the wall for almost twenty minutes after slipping and taking the hand-railing holding his one and only towel down with him to the wet floor)

(He leans on the back of his couch, staring at the tragedy that his living room has become until his "I'm too tired for this shit" switch flips and he shields himself behind his bedroom divider.)

* * *

It’s two days before Gai leaves. Two entire days of yelling and being fed curry and porridge non-stop.

If Kakashi has to even look at curry in the next month, he's going to drop-kick it.

One can only eat so much curry until your taste buds fry.

Gai not included.

On an unrelated note, he can finally stand up without his knees threatening to fail him. There's nothing better than stretching out your body without feeling like you'll tear half a dozen muscles. He still feels a stiffness in his movements accompanied with over sensitive eyes and ears, but it's an improvement nonetheless.

It's midday, a few hours after Gai has left with his frightening amount of green and orange decorations, and sad pout on his lips that made the old ladies down the hall coo.

Gai can kick and scream and riot, he will not be having an entire gym in his small studio living room and neither will he be having knitted green _ anything _ in his kitchen and if those creepy paintings with the googly eyes ever come through his door again _ he will burn them._

It took obsessively cleaning the apartment and going over every surface for cameras, bugs and remaining paintings before he could convinces his hind-brain that no one was watching.

And now he has the chance to inspect the cardboard box on his kitchen table. He uses a small knife to cut it open.

Just like every other month, the tiny box is filled with books—four or five, all of a certain genre—with a note stuck to the top one’s cover. Feeling a smile curve his lips up, Kakashi reaches down with carefully retracted claws and takes the piece of paper, unfolding it.

It’s penned in familiar, sloppy, slanted handwriting.

_ Hey, Kakashi!_

_ I got you the mystery books you wanted, though I wasn't sure which to pick.They were all recommended to me by the lady who worked at the bookstore, though._

_ We're making a lot of progress—it could end sooner than we planned._

_ I hope you don't miss me too much._

_ —Obito _

Kakashi stares at the letter, imagining Obito scrawling out this note, rewriting it over and over again—always overthinking things. 

Though Obito swears out of the two of them, it's Kakashi that never stops thinking.

He pulls down his mask and sniffs at the paper. Under all the other scents—dust, wood and ink—he can pick out a familiar, smoky cinnamon scent.

He detects the sour smell of anxiety too, but that's expected considering that Obito is currently undercover in one of the most heavily secured underground crime rings in Japan. 

At least he can't smell any fear.

The part of his mind that always worries about his remaining precious people (whispering _ protect protect protect, don’t lose them, don’t lose them_) settles down somewhat, that doesn't stop his heart from clenching with longing, though.

His left ear flicks to the side as he hears the sound of footsteps walking towards, and then past his door.

Kakashi has tensed almost without noticing, and when he looks down he sees his claws digging into the kitchen table, tearing the cloth and gouging into the wood. He forces himself to relax.

He was definitely more on edge than normal if footsteps are enough to make him react like that. Taking mission after mission in these past few months had worn at him; even now, in his own apartment he couldn’t quite relax.

Kakashi turns, paws padding softly, almost silently on the hardwood floor.

He heads for his room. 

He hadn’t intended to leave his apartment for anything other than visiting Naruto during his reprieve from missions, but he has to work out his tension right now before something happens.

He pulls on an old t-shirt, a hoodie and a pair of tights—they were made out of a thin, stretchy material, and were tailored in mind for someone with a leg structure like his. 

With his mask firmly in place and a few knives hidden on his person, as usual, Kakashi pockets his cellphone and heads out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://pin.it/lmxm5y7jk7jw6f
> 
> I'm not picky on Kakashi's leg structure, but I imagine it to be between B, C and E from the picture above.
> 
> I won't go into detail to much so you can interpret it as you wish.


	4. Wake Me Up When It's All Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you move forward when you're always looking back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes!
> 
> So it's been ages...sorry about that. Life kinda got in the way and then I was waiting on a few things to be checked over...
> 
> But anyway, rest assured I don't plan on abandoning anything.
> 
> Chapter title - Wake Me Up, Avicii

His trek through the outskirts of Musutafu was pleasantly uneventful, with only a few people being out this early on a weekend.

Within a few minutes he's inside the local cat cafe, his entrance announced by the sound of scrambling and screeching, both feline and homo sapien.

(Why yes, I do know that I am a wolf shifter.

And yes, of course I know that anything canine sauntering into a cafe filled with cats is a disaster waiting to happen.)

(Why else would he come here?)

Entertainment in his line of work is few and far between, so he makes due where he can.

A few poor souls seem to not have taken cover in time, their inexperience marked by red lines and betrayed faces.

_ 'Those would be the newer customers then.'_

His journey from the front door to the counter is met with scowls and glares with the occasional hiss, as usual.

He comes often enough on his down time to be considered an occasional frequent customer, but not enough for his presence to be considered problematic - the only reason why he hasn't been banned. (That and he tips well.)

While in the line, the corner TV catches his attention.

It’s showing snapshots of the aftermath of the attack on UA—it had taken place a mere week ago, hadn’t it?

There is a black and purple beast frozen on the screen, the image capturing it mid-roar. It flashes through images of the villains involved in the attack, broadcasting warnings in bold font to alert both the public and local heroes to report any sightings of the villains: A silver-haired young man with hands covering his face, clinging to him; a man in a suit that seemed to be entirely made out of mist. 

Kakashi watches the images flit past for a moment longer, before turning away. 

He orders a coffee and a jelly pastry from a woman who looks half-dead on her feet, only half-paying attention when she hands him the receipt and his order. The attack on UA had clearly been orchestrated by a group of villains—rare, since organized crime had been almost completely wiped out in All Might’s reign. 

Kakashi wondered if the Sandaime was going to do anything about it. 

* * *

The wind whips past him as Kakashi leaps over a tree root, landing lightly on his feet before he's cutting through the air again. He feels laughter bubble up in his throat.

Maybe it's his instincts or maybe it's just him, but this? Running without a destination, without a purpose, without having to hold back, his mind empty of anything but the glorious feeling of his feet pounding on earth and the wind roaring past him?

It was _freeing_.

Falling flowers part for him as he runs, sakura blossoms a blur of pink and white as they drift. He tips his face up towards the petal shower, eyes unfocused as he takes in the flower’s scent, his feet carrying him into the thick of it.

There's a memory there, fuzzy with age, the distant echo of happiness like a ripple in water.

(If he takes a deep breath and he hears a gentle voice calling out to him, Kakashi doesn't pay it any mind.)

He slows to a stop as he catches sight of apartments and shops and car-filled, bustling streets again. The park, unfortunately, wasn’t infinite.

He takes a few gulps of water from the water bottle he picked up from a park vendor, his paw-pads hitting rough concrete on the sidewalk once more. 

The cross-light flashes white, and Kakashi jogs to the other side of the street, legs still burning with exertion. He continues, walking home slowly, enjoying the feeling of peace while it lasts.

He is five minutes from his apartment when his overactive mind starts to kick in again.

He thinks about Genma and wonders how his dinner with Miss Namiashi went. He thinks about Tenzou and hopes he's finally looking at the cooking section of the women's magazines he gave him. He thinks about Gai and contemplates skunks in Japan.

He wonders how Obito is doing.

(Anything but that right now.)

Naruto—Kakashi had been planning on visiting, hadn’t he?

It’s been a while.

Pulling out his phone, Kakashi checks the time. It's almost 1 PM— it's a Sunday, so Naruto should be home right now with his caretaker, a brash old woman.

He doesn't visit as much as he ought to, between missions and his own anxiety with facing Naruto.

Sometimes he doesn't want to leave the child, with his hair the color of sunlight and eyes like the sky being so similar to his father, his bright smile and mischievous laughter an echo of his mother’s. 

Sometimes he can't bear to stay, the memories dragging him down like waves pulling a sailor to the ocean's watery grave.

One would think four years is enough time to grieve, but it wasn’t. It hadn’t been…

(It hadn't been nearly enough time to mourn the loss of a _ home _.)

Naruto's parents were his first precious people..._after_. They dragged him into their little family, Minato with his kind heart and brilliant mind, Kushina with her fierce protectiveness and unwavering will.

They taught him what _ precious _ meant. Taught him a lot of things he hadn’t had the chance to say thank you for, only being able to whisper it to their headstones.

Guilt is an ugly thing, a swamp of regret and broken promises, and Kakashi? 

He drowned in it more often than not.

* * *

By the time he reaches the massive white house where Jiraiya lives, Kakashi has calmed himself to the point where he's starting to look forward to seeing Naruto again.

He walks up the worn steps and knocks on the door, only half-expecting to see Jiraiya.

After the incident, he had taken Naruto in.

Between him being the godfather and the only remaining member of their ragtag family with a stable, relatively non-threatening job, Jiraiya had been the only option.

Sometimes, though, Kakashi can't help but wonder if Naruto would have been happier with a different family. 

It's not that Jiraiya was awful at parenting - the man was a good enough teacher, if that counted for anything given how Nagato and Konan and Yahiko had wound up - but he could be better. He travelled too much for Kakashi's liking, leaving Naruto with various caretakers and babysitters and was gone more often than not.

Every time Kakashi visited, Naruto would talk his ear off. 

Not that Kakashi minds - he has a lot of practice dealing with Gai, and it means he doesn’t have to talk as much either. What he does mind is the way Naruto would go abruptly silent once he realized what he was doing. What he minds is that after Kakashi tells him to go on, he'll still look back at him and ask if he’s listening, making sure he's still paying attention.

What he _ hates _ is how his babysitters look at him. Disgusted and affronted, only half-hidden behind masks of pleasantries and politeness. 

He hates how the scent of loneliness never leaves.

That’s why Kakashi smells Naruto before he hears him. Even if the metallic tang of isolation drenched Naruto, nothing would keep Kakashi from recognizing that faint, earthy smell tinged with smoke.

Despite the boy’s fox features, reminiscent of his mother’s, his scent was achingly similar to Minato, like a damp forest, earthy and fresh in the aftermath of rain with just the barest hint of Kushina's burning, smoky firewood.

A high-pitched, bold voice speaks up from behind the door.

"Who is it? What'dya want?"

Kakashi feels his lips quirk up up at his brashness—it might have been rude if not for the pure cuteness.

"Maa, maa, I was planning on consulting with the master prankster today, it's very important.”

While he speaks, Kakashi can hear Naruto frantically trying to unlock the door, after a minute he hears a frustrated groan and assumes the boy gave up.

"Kashi-_ nii _ ," Naruto draws out the word in a whine, "it won't _ open_."

He sounds absolutely pitiful. Probably looks that way, too - fox ears drooping with dissatisfaction.

"Well, why don't you go get oji-san, he'll help you."

There's a huff, no doubt at the prospect of asking for help. Kakashi's mask stretches with his smile and he thinks of just how much the boy resembles Kushina in personality. 

"I don't need help, it's just stuck. And oji-san's not home."

The statement wipes the wistful smile off of his face

"No?" Kakashi says, carefully keeping the disappointment out of his voice.

"Why don't you go get Kira-san then?" That was what her name was, wasn’t it? Kakashi was having trouble keeping up with all the new babysitters Jiraiya kept hiring. 

"Not here." He sounds suspiciously pleased.

"No-not here? Okay," comes his deceptively calm reply.

"Does that mean you're alone right now, Naru-chan?"

"You're here, Kashi-nii." Naruto says in that voice he uses when he thinks Kakashi is being particularly dense.

_ 'Alright, well there's no need to punch the perfectly perfect white wall on his left. Just breathe Kakashi. Save the anger for later.' _

_ 'For Jiraiya.' _

With a long breath, Kakashi unclenches his jaw.

"Mah, it looks like you're trapped Naru-chan, I guess we'll have to break you out."

There's a delighted giggle and _ whoop _ before the boy asks to help.

"Okay Naruto, I want you to get me a few things, can you do that?"

"You bet, Kashi-nii."

After asking the fox child to get a piece of paper, Kakashi instructs him to fold it three times and then carefully slide it between the door and the wall where the lock meets.

While Naruto is busy, he fishes out the key to the front door attached to his own key ring, thrust into his hand with an irritated grumble after Kakashi showed up to the house after a particularly rough assignment without checking the time.

Naruto excitedly yells out that he's finished and Kakashi pushes the key into the lock, jiggling it around to add to the affect of “breaking in”.(_The things I do for this child)_, but within a minute he can hear Naruto getting impatient behind the door.

"Almost there. Push the paper right up under the lock for me."

Obviously the piece of paper is useless, but the little boy doesn't need to know that.

"You ready, Naru-chan?"

"Believe it!"

With a smile and roll of his eyes, Kakashi twists his hand and there's an inaudible click. Well, inaudible for untrained, unenhanced ears.

A second later the door swings open.

"Good job, you're save- hmmf"

The next second he has a face full of blond hair and red fox ears, the sound of childish giggling filling his ears.

The pure joy in the sound is enough for him to ignore the faint itch beneath his skin, the burn when Naruto wraps warm arms around Kakashi’s neck and hugs him.

A red tail with a white tip curls around his own dark gray one and Kakashi knows his expression is unbearably soft right now. He can practically hear Obito teasing him from across Japan. (At least, that is where Kakashi thinks he is.)

Sometimes he wonders if Naruto would have been happier in a more stable home.

But the truth is, Kakashi is selfish.

He'd kill anyone who would dare take Naruto away.

  
  


As he had stated, Kakashi's official reason for picking Naruto up was to complete a little project of theirs.

Recently, Kakashi's newspapers have been subjected to continued theft—or that is what one Mizuki, the local paper boy, claims.

Ever since a few months after the teen had replaced the old paper-boy, Kakashi's Sunday's off from work have become much more entertaining.

At first, Kakashi didn't think anything of the shoulder checks when they passed each other or the furious glares paired with defensive body language, chalking it up to teenage hormones.

Only after running into the boy's friend a third time, Iruka, who occasionally helps him deliver the papers, did Kakashi realise what was really going on.

_Teenage hormones, indeed._

In the hallway, in front of Kakashi stood two teenagers, both red in the face, both for very different reasons.

Iruka was stumbling over his words, hands slightly shaking as he handed Kakashi his newspaper even as his eyes were bright with determination, his smile open and kind. Kakashi remembers being reminded of Naruto.

Further back, Mizuki was fuming, his rage coming off of him in waves. His stomping alerted Iruka to his approach, his anger causing Iruka to confusedly ask "What's wrong?" before he was yanked away. 

After that, Kakashi had a front row seat to the ensuing drama, featuring classics like; "I told you not to talk to him." and "I can talk to whoever I want." And later on, his personal favourite; "You're not my boyfriend."

It's only after Mizuki's grip on Iruka turned painful, judging by the boy's wince, that Kakashi stepped in.

That was when the little bastard lunged at him.

That was when a deafening rip echoed through the hallway, through Kakashi's sinking heart.

Obito's latest reading gift, had torn.

.

.

.

Now Kakashi isn't usually a petty person.

Unless the offense was profound or it contributes to his amusement.

Which went hand in hand with being petty, but the point was: he deserved it.

A few well placed bags of feathers, a dozen raw eggs and an oblivious, but well deserved target, made for the perfect excuse for him and Naruto to spend time together without feelings getting involved. The perfect prank. Unfortunately, they didn't account for a jam sandwich and the furious paper boy's exceptional aim. 

Naruto did not come out unscathed.

Of course, Kakashi had plenty of time to yank Naruto out of the line of fire, but he figured that the boy needed to learn that yelling out how stupid your much bigger opponent looks warrants some thinking through (building good character and all that), besides, how much could being hit by _ bread _ hurt? 

Unfortunately, Kakashi has a bad habit of forgetting that _ normal _ children cry at the drop of a hat - apparently minors are supposed to be more emotionally inclined. Supposedly.

To Naruto's credit, he didn't kick, scream or cry. (like Kakashi _ did not _ silently panic.) Although his face was beat red, Kakashi suspected it was more out of embarrassment than anything else.

Kakashi can still hear Mizuki's startled yell as his bike's wheels fell off mid ride - read: retreat - along with Naruto's giggles, the smile back on his face.

Nonetheless, after seeing the boy flinch at Mizuki's parting words, the wolf shifter did feel slightly guilty, hence why Kakashi turned to the best possible solution.

Ramen.

* * *

There's an obnoxious slurping sound to his left, stretching on for what feels like minutes.

Kakashi turns his face to the Ramen Devourer, feeling almost as amazed as the first time he had seen Kushina eat three bowls without pause.

"_Breathe_, Naruto."

There's a long inhale before the slurping continues.

The woman to his left looks at Naruto in mild alarm.

Despite the boy’s less than presentable appearance, Kakashi feels that there is actual validation in her reaction, and observes the boy closely—practically sitting in his lap with how they’re pressed to each other.

_ 'He's eating faster than usual.' _

That wouldn't really have been cause for concern on it's own, but if he looks carefully enough he can see how Naruto's baby fat has thinned considerably.

Worry settles in his stomach like lead, mixed with a fair share of anger and disgust. If the caretaker isn't at least _ taking care _ of Naruto's physical needs like she should, there will be hell to pay.

That and Jiraiya will probably need a good knock to the head.

(Or ten.)

He can understand the old man's avoidance of Naruto, grief barely hidden when he stares at the child too long.

But this? This is unacceptable. 

A noodle flicks his way, and only his quick reflexes keep it from landing on his face. 

Instead it lands on the woman sitting next to him.

There's a disgusted sputter and Kakashi turns away, his bare face the picture of innocence before he starts on his own ramen, sharp canines chewing through the noodles with ease.

The boy plastered to his side leans over to look at the woman now glaring at them, curious. Kakashi effectively stops trouble in its tracks by placing his palm on the boys' head and turning so that his eyes are directed towards his ramen bowl, and like Kakashi expected, Naruto shrugs and continues eating.

After running their "errand", Naruto begged Kakashi to let him look around. After a few minutes he gave into the boys puppy eyes (Shouldn't it be kit eyes, technically speaking?) and they headed to the market square, Naruto looking at the surroundings with no small amount of barely contained excitement.

Kakashi tries to keep his muscles loose and fur smooth.

Even if Naruto's parentage isn't public knowledge, there are still people who act cruelly on the boys' appearance alone, regardless if he did something wrong or not.

For that reason Naruto doesn't get to go out much, doesn't get to play with other kids and doesn't know that what he's feeling almost everyday is loneliness.

For that reason, Kakashi tries to do whatever the boy feels like doing when he visits, be it playing dinosaurs or going outside for a little fresh air.

Usually when they did play with the boy, it was Obito who made the weird faces and overdramatic sounds, Kakashi only teasing in the background. He remembers a baby with slitted blue eyes and cute, tiny folded ears laughing himself red at Obito's antics.

But that was almost a year ago now, and up until then Kakashi's only interactions with Naruto had consisted of him on the sidelines, watching from the safety of his newest book.

He'd had to do a lot of adjusting after Obito left, and it was only after a month of his absence, of spiraling downhill, that Kakashi realised how much he depended on the other, how much he had let his walls down and his feelings roam free.

At first he was angry. So, so very _ angry _ that he tore gouges into anything and everything in his ANBU room.

Afterwards, Kakashi sat in the ruins of his life, of what little he kept as personal belongings, and thought of how pathetic he was, always leaning on others rather than standing on his own two feet.

Afterwards, Kakashi was determined. He would change, he would exercise his independence, he would build his walls higher. He would be better.

So he moved out of the ANBU barracks, created a false identity for himself and got his own apartment. He started taking more missions, especially solo ones to make up for his previous inactivity (but mainly to keep his mind occupied.)

It went well for a couple of weeks, working non-stop and ignoring Gai, until Obito started sending him boxes full of books.

In the end, it didn't _ matter _ what he did. Wolves are pack animals and Kakashi craved connection, even if he wasn't good at it.

That's why Kakashi started to seek out Minato's son. It caused him a great deal of discomfort but in the end it wasn't very hard to satisfy a toddler, and Naruto wouldn't pester him about his feelings either.

It was a win-win. They were both lonely and in need of a little comfort (even if Kakashi knows he doesn't deserve it.)

In the end, it worked out pretty well.

Kakashi smiles fondly into his next bite, until it falters.

It helped Kakashi forget, didn't mean the aching hole Obito left wasn't still there.

A tug on his arm brings him back to the present and Kakashi looks down into two confused pools of blue. They turn to his ramen bowl before him, a look of understanding washing over Naruto's face.

"Kashi-nii, it's ok," the boy says while switching their bowls, "you can have mine."

Kakashi himself is confused until he remembers that Naruto's senses are enhanced by his quirk. He forces his ears to stop drooping.

_ 'He must have smelt my...unhappiness? Or is it longing. Anger? I'm losing track. And control.'_

With a slip of Kakashi's scent Naruto must have picked up the little bits of underlying emotion in it without realizing it, the innocent child assuming it was because of his lack of ramen. His over expressive ears probably helped Naruto's conclusion.

_ 'It's always the ears, *sigh*.'_

But after 7 years Kakashi is an expert at turning uncomfortable 'accidental emotional slips' into situations to his advantage.

If all else fails, change the subject.

It's a strategy he's found that works in battle situations just as well as normal ones. A confused enemy is a vulnerable enemy.

An unexpected bark of laughter startles Naruto, who's own exppresion turns confused as the white tip of his red tail in Kakashi's lap curls ith the boys' emotions.

"Thank you Naruto, that's very generous of you, but my ramen is completely fine. I'm just full and disappointed that it will go to waste..." Kakashi says it all with an over-exaggerated sigh, eye fixed on the child's expression.

"That’s okay! I'll eat it!" The boy yells enthusiastically, face pleased while small hands tug both bowls in front of him. He's about to dig back in with his crudely held chopsticks until Kakashi stops him. He left it earlier, but on a second thought, it's best to correct things early on before they become a bad habit.

Taking the boys' hand in his own, he places the sticks in the right positions, showing him how to move them, before leaving Naruto to his food.

He doesn't miss the boy's pout, but it's quickly forgotten when Kakashi motions to the bowls.

It takes a few tries, with Kakashi intervening when it looks like the fox-child will stab himself in the eye, until the noodles stay on his chopsticks. In between slurps Naruto turns his face up, eyes squinted in what Kakashi guesses is concentration.

"What does g-gen-gengerous mean?"

"Generous." Kakashi pronounces for him.

"Yeah, that!" 

"It means to be very kind and helpful by giving someone something. Usually without expecting anything in return."

"Like you do?" The boy asked.

Kakashi was quiet for a few seconds, before he answered. "Well, that's a little different."

"Why? You play with me and let me go outside and give me ramen."

Kakashi wonders how to word the answer Naruto is expecting, what the boys parents would have said.

"Because I'm you're Kakashi-nii, family always help each other, Naru-chan, no matter what."

"We're family, like brothers?", the fox child asks, wonder in his voice.

"Yeah, like brothers in all but blood. It means that even if we don't have the same parents, I'll always look out for you."

After his tiny speech Kakashi feels Naruto fling himself at him, tears streaming down his face.

Kakashi's heart sinks.

_This is why I don't do emotions._

"Ahh. Don't cry Naru-chan, I didn't mean to upset you?"

For some reason the statement comes out as a question. Kakashi feels tired.

"N-not up-upset."

"No?"

Kakashi feels very, very tired.

The boy looks up from where his face was buried in Kakashi's shoulder. A blinding smile on his face.

"I'll take care of you too, Nii-san!"

His heart stops.

Before it overruns with joy.

Kakashi gives a light chuckle, throat tight with emotion.

"Mah, it looks like you're almost out of ramen Naru-chan. It's getting late, we should head home."

And so they did, after the boy slurped down the last of his food and yelled a goodbye to the chef - the woman next to them flinching at the sight of the boys' black claws waving around.

Naruto sits atop Kakashi's shoulders on the way out of the market, the wolf-shifter with a hidden smile and the fox-child with a blindingly open one.

Kakashi feels a sting in his heart, catching a glimpse of the boy in the setting suns' rays - so very familiar.

But it doesn't hurt as much as it usually does, for some reason.

It's better.

Today was better.

* * *

By the time they enter Jiraiya's home the sun has already set, leaving faint orange rays as the only source of light in the otherwise pitch black house. His white ears twitch as the strain to hear Jiraiya or one of the Naruto’s caretakers - but the house is empty, only the long shadows present.

Naruto clings to Kakashi's side as they move through the dark, scared of it as any other child his age would be. In response Kakashi picks the drooping child up into his arms, most likely exhausted from their little adventure into town.

A small sigh of relief leaves the boy as Kakashi flips the light switches as he heads upstairs.

First things first, there are dirty smudges all over Naruto, his fur greasy and he reeks as if soaked in ramen and strawberry jelly- Kakashi's nose twitches.

"Alright little fox, time for a bath."

"_Nooo_." Comes the slightly slurred response.

"_Yes._" Kakashi echoes back, cheerfully walking into the bathroom opposite Naruto's bedroom.

He sets the boy down on unsteady feet, turning to the bath to get the water ready. While waiting for the tub to fill up he turns towards the sound of increasing frustration and struggle. He jumps to catch the boy before he can topple over in his attempts to get his shirt over his head. 

With a chuckle Kakashi helps him take care of his dirty clothes before throwing them into the corner of the room - he'll deal with it later. Maybe.

He makes sure that the water isn't too hot before turning the tap and looking over to where a bleary eyed Naruto stands, furry tail puffed and wrapped around himself, ears hanging in front of his dirty face. (All of his fox appendages look too big for his small body - the image is almost comical - and Kakashi dreads the day where the child grows into them.)

He flicks his head towards the bath, indicating for the boy to come over to him, and then settles him into the tub, careful with the red tail.

He's swift and a little mechanical because of the awkwardness in bathing the tired child (he looks away from the smudges of blood always staining his hands and forces himself to resist the urge of scrubbing them clean)(_They aren't real_, a part of him says. _They're too real, that's why you cant ignore it_, says another part.)

By the time he's done Naruto's expression has turned grumpy, overtired.

Kakashi moves fast as he wraps the boy in a towel. To be fair he's pretty exhausted himself, an emotional joyride takes its toll, and he doesn't exactly look forward to more crying.

Kakashi sets the boy on his obnoxious orange bed - Obito's hideous influence - and digs out some underwear and loose pajamas out of the boys' drawer, deeming the summer night air too warm for anything else.

With the child dressed and Kakashi sporting a few tiny foot shaped bruises, he tucks the fox-child into bed.

"There we go, all done."

An irritated grumble follows in reply, narrowed eyes displeased.

Kakashi bends his knees, coming to eye level with the boy while busying himself with a toad nightlight.

"Did you have a good day?" He asks hesitantly, hating how his voice sounds... vulnerable.

There's a small nod accompanied by Naruto’s expression breaking into a small smile. Kakashi ruffles Naruto's hair and scratches at his scalp, careful of sensitive red ears as they turn down in pleasure. Naruto gives a small "yip" of encouragement.

He hovers for an awkward few seconds after standing, before turning to the door.

"Sleep well Naru-chan."

"Night-night Aniki, love you," comes the whispered reply.

Kakashi freezes halfway out the doorway and looks over his shoulder. He sees blond hair and red tufts curled up in orange and his heart softens, aches with flashes of memories.

He turns his face away, distracted.

"I love you too, pup."

Kakashi doesn't notice the slip of such an intimate word.

He doesn't notice small blue eyes closing, crinkling.

Doesn't notice the heartwarming happy smile...Too caught up in days long passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oji-san = Uncle  
Aniki = Big brother
> 
> If anything is wrong with my use of Japanese, please let me know.
> 
> And thank you to those who pointed out my mistakes with 'nii' and 'nee' last time!


	5. It's Funny How a Memory Turns Into a Bad Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Running Wild Turns Volatile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title—Moral of The Story, Ashe
> 
> So, it's been a while...Happy New Year!...?
> 
> Anyway, I've been busy with catching up with the bnha manga, and a novel that caught my eye.
> 
> Along with this chapter, updates will be slower - this year is important for me and chapters will now be written from scratch.
> 
> Again - thanks to my beta who I can't finnish this without.

**Previously**: Kakashi visits Naruto and they make mischief and eat, all the while the wolf-shifter suffers through an emotional rollercoaster. In the end Naruto is tuckered out and Kakashi tucks him inti bed—they share a sweet moment between Aniki and pup.

Kakashi waits for Jiraiya to come home**.**

* * *

After tucking in Naruto, Kakashi wandered around, doing a cursory sweep of the hous—his mind elsewhere while his body follows ingrained instincts—before moving to the living room and flopping down on the sofa that faces the door and windows. 

He tugs his mask down, the thin filter slipping down the pale skin of his neck, past a silver line where a bullet had gotten too close to an artery, and lets out a tired sigh. His body sinks further into the uncomfortably hard cushions on his next inhale filled with familiar scents. Until he catches a foreign one—just barely there—and despite his best efforts his muscles contract, leaving relaxing out of the question.

Damned _ Kira-san. _

For a second Kakashi wonders if he should have been more insistent in asking what happened with his late babysitter, but decides that he'll pester Jiraiya for information when he eventually shows up.

His eyes catch sight of the shiny new clock—no doubt a replacement because of Naruto—on the opposite wall.

8 pm.

Jiraiya still wasn't here_ ._

Kakashi wonders if he would have to stay there on the couch until morning, until _ someone _ finally came. 

He doesn't like the sound of that so much, or rather his back doesn't—even if he has slept on far worse for far longer. He i_s definitely _ not sleeping Jiraiya's room, but leaving Naruto alone doesn't sit well with him either. Not at all.

Even just thinking about crossing the threshold of the front door into the fresh night air, leaving the little kit unprotected makes something deep inside himself growl unhappily, threatening.

Resigned to his fate, Kakashi settles into an uncomfortably cramped position and closes his sensitive eyes to the yellow light of the room, knowing that he wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon.

It's around an hour later when his ears and fur spike up in alarm at the soft but hurried steps heading for the window. It's only after the window is pushed open—lock carefully unlatched—and the smell of bourbon and citrus perfume accompanies a man with white hair through the opening, that Kakashi's eyes narrow in irritation.

Jiraiya stumbles into the house, expression worried. When he catches sight of Kakashi, he tenses, a flash of metal by his side within a fraction of a second, before he seems to realise who he's looking at.

"Kakashi." 

It comes out in a rush of breath, relieved no doubt.

Kakashi stares on, expression blank but displeasure palpable.

"Ahh. So the caretaker contacted you?"

"Nope."

He pops the 'p', the harsh sound violent in the otherwise silent house. Sweat runs down the old man's brow.

Jiraiya turns away and closes the window, the action hiding his face from Kakashi.

"So, Naruto did."

"No."

Jiraiya swallows hard.

"Well, uh, Kira-san phoned me. She said that she resigns, I left as soon as I could."

He doesn't say from where he left, Kakashi certainly knows it's not from his office where he writes all his novels, it being in the room next to Naruto's.

"Did Naruto say why she left?" He sounds tired now, lost.

_ So he doesn't know either._

Kakashi hasn't really given it much thought, but he remembers a tiny smug tone in the announcement of her departure. He could make a guess.

"Not particularly."

Dark eyes framed by shaggy white hair glare at him—apparently irritated now, too.

_ Well join the fucking party. _

Kakashi glares back.

There's complete silence between them for all of ten seconds before Jiraiya looks away.

"Alright, I get it. I messed up, but I'm running out of people willing to take care of the Red Hot Habanero's child."

"You say that like I should pity you-" it's harsh and the flinch the older man gives makes his heart twist in guilt, but he continues.

"When in fact, _ they _ entrusted his care to _ you_."

There's a flash of anger and Jiraiya sneers at him.

"Listen here, _ boy_. _ You're _ not the one keeping a roof over his head. _ You're _ not the one who has to deal with him when you have important things to do."

Kakashi bristles, bares his teeth in a snarl.

"Yeah, because he's just another kid you're burdened with, right? Just another waste of your _ precious _ time spent trailing after the next set of breasts that catches your fancy."

"I never asked to take care of him, I _ never wanted to._"

_"Clearly_." Kakashi snaps back, canines snapping harshly with each word.

"You know what? If you're so unhappy with the way I'm doing things, then take him!" Jiraiya shouts, face set in a furious scowl.

Kakashi sits back in shock, taken aback. He can't take Naruto, for the same reasons Jiraiya can't stand to look after the boy for more than two days at a time. The boy is a stark reminder of what they lost. It's too painful.

He feels like a hypocrite.

But...but Jiraiya wasn't the one sleeping with unbreakable claws sheathed within bloodied hands- the reason why Obito has more than a few scars from trying to wake him from nightmarish memories.

He knows Jiraiya isn't undamaged, knows that he wakes up screaming too, but...

Jiraiya isn't dangerous to Naruto like Kakashi is.

"I'm not the one that's unhappy here Jiraiya, you are."

It's a lie, but Kakashi has to make this clear. He turns his back to him

"And I understand, I do. But you're what? Fifty? An adult who has taken care of children before, raised them to be good pe-"

"All of whom have died."

"Could you have stopped it?"

"Yes."

"Then do better," Kakashi says, tone even, but not unkind. "because you and I both know that if I could, I would walk out of here with that boy in an instant. If I knew he would be safe with me..."

"Pity doesn't look good on you."

"Right back at you." Kakashi throws back.

Is it pity if it's true, if it's nothing more than fact?

There's a heavy sigh behind him before Jiraiya walks around the couch to sit next to him.

"What are we doing." A humorless chuckle escapes the older man.

"We're being illogical." Kakashi whispers, more to himself but the man next to him still hears.

"Well, emotions never really went well with logic."

Jiraiya sinks further into the coach, leaning his head against the back while staring at the ceiling, as if searching for answers within the chipped paint. Kakashi joins him in looking.

"You're right. It's been four years and I'm still running away."

"We both are," Kakashi admits. It’s a harsh truth, but one that they both have to face. 

"Yeah, but you're still young, still figuring out your place in the world. Me? I've already filled my quota for midlife crises per lifetime - I'm practically ancient and I've got the experience to show it, I should have my shit together by now. Any spy worth his salt can handle a four-year-old." 

"We both know that Naruto isn’t the only problem."

Two of ANBU's most notorious agents, unable to move forward because they could never stop looking back.

Kakashi's lips quirk up in a humorless smile.

_ How pathetic we must be. _

The weight beside him shifts, and Jiraiya stands with a groan before making a beeline for the liquor cabinet. Despite Kakashi's certainty that he’s already had a few glasses today, he doesn't stop him from pouring two glasses full to the rim.

Alcohol certainly wasn’t the right way to handle the situation, but they would do better tomorrow—they would have to.

* * *

Much later:

"Why did you come through the window?"

  
"Ah, I ran into an old acquaintance of mine, she's a real beauty, too. Unfortunately she never did like my advanc-_compliments_ much, and she packs quite a punch. I must have lost my keys somewhere between her fist and the river."

* * *

Chirping echoes between thick trees, the sound ebbing and flowing as if rolling between waves—loud, almost ear splitting, and then distant, like their just above the surface of the watery abyss he has found himself in.

Everything around him is perfectly still, eerily so. The leaves don't sway just like the tide doesn't pull, like it doesn't push. Everything around him is fuzzy, like he's looking through murky water—the clear picture just out of reach—he tries to move but he's just as much of a statue as everything else in this timeless ocean. And it is an ocean. He feels it in the burn of his eyes, nose, throat, lungs and the feeling of ice on his skin.

He doesn't shiver even if his skin pulls tight to the point of cracking.

He breathes fine even if his chest is as unmoving as the waves.

The leaves are blurry but he still sees that they are red. The trees around him fading into a screen of pitch black, but he still sees eyes in them—looking at him, lifeless.

It's all frozen..._ dead _.

.

.

.

Except the chirping.

  
  
  


Kakashi jolts awake with claws unsheathed and ears up straight and alert. He reaches for the gun that he keeps behind his headboard and clicks the safety off without even thinking about it. There's an insistent tapping at his window accompanied by a screech that could be called a "tweet" if he was generous, and not hungover. 

There’s the small, dark outline of something behind his curtains, the tapping getting almost violent now. Definitely a bird. 

He's up and out of his covers before he can even register it, heading towards the window while securing his mask, which had slipped down in his sleep.

He had gotten back to his apartment well past midnight after his talk with Jiraiya, collapsing into his bed after a long warm shower, scrubbing the remnants of his and Naruto's earlier prank out of his fur. Mercifully, he had been asleep within seconds.

His mind feels muddled, it only being 5am, and he’s probably still a little drunk, but at the sight of the standard ANBU messenger bird, his headache and drowsiness is forgotten and Kakashi automatically switches into mission mode.

He wasn't expecting to be called in earlier, but it happens enough for it not to be a surprise.

With the bird now on his arm, Kakashi carefully takes the piece of paper from the black bird where it's attached to its leg. He’s learned the hard way that the messenger birds don’t particularly like his wolfish nature. 

The bird is gone as quickly as it came, darting out of his window in a flurry of feathers into the brightening sky.

Kakashi makes sure that the curtains are completely drawn closed and stills—strains his ears to listen for any other sounds in his apartment.

Confident that he is alone, he unfolds the paper in the darkness of his room.

A summons for him.

From the director.

He feels his eyebrows furrow. He hasn't had a direct conversation with Sarutobi in almost a year.

Something must have happened.

He silences the part of him that immediately starts to worry about his team and slips on his mission gear, packing a week’s worth of supplies into his worn bag. He shrugs on a dark hoodie so as to not stand out too much, so he can at least somewhat look like he’s in civies. 

Satisfied, Kakashi moves to get to headquarters as fast as possible.

It turns out that he had no reason to worry—which he wasn't. Hound, along with the rest of Team Ro—Shisui, "Crow", now cleared for duty—were summoned for a standard recon mission. 

On paper, everything looked normal. They were to gather any and all information on an activist group suspected of illegal activities, the more adventurous of these being dealing in experimental drugs. According to the file they had on the group, The Cobra Core, which only consists of three pages—a surefire indication that they aren't much of a threat—their base of operations lie just on the outskirts of the city, a breeding ground for small time crooks. The unsecured warehouse was fairly small, considering how few their numbers are—likely because of their open hatred for mutants. 

Kakashi would be amused at being called in this early for such an easy assignment.

Would be, if it wasn't _ too _ easy.

Team Ro was initially created as a stealth team, for covert operations. All the members, even the few that have come and gone, didn’t have flashy quirks. Most of their missions count on their abilities being subtle, under the radar or overlooked as harmless—even though they were anything but.

All of them have perfected their quirks to the point of lethality, no matter how mild or non-threatening they may seem. It’s why—along with their ability to get or do what they need and get out, to kill fast and efficiently and disappear—they’re one of ANBU's most valuable assets.

ANBU, the organization that has infiltrated numerous high security prisons, spied on presidents, impersonated royalty...is sending professional spies and assassins on a mission fit for a _ hero._

Honestly, it was a tad insulting.

But, of course, they weren’t here to question their superiors.

"Your objective is to gather as much information as you can while avoiding suspicion," the Director—codename Sandaime—states through a puff of smoke from his pipe.

"That means everything from the people you see around the area, to the kind of jobs that they are doing and substances that they are making. Everything you'll need is in the files in front of you and already at the site where you all will be staying, if there is any other materials necessary, take it up with the armory. You depart by 7 AM."

The older man leans forward, scratching at his beard while his lips part in a weary sigh.

"A mission like this would normally run a few months, but time is of the essence. You have three weeks to obtain as much information as you can. Engage if you find it necessary."

_ And the questions just keep piling up, _ Kakashi thinks.

"You will report your findings directly to me, and no one else—do I make myself clear?"

The Sandaime's tone becomes dangerous—nearly causing Kakashi's ears to rear back in displeasure—making it clear that any failure on their part would be unacceptable.

Team Ro straightens collectively, every member reflexively reacting to the change in atmosphere as a potential threat. The Sandaime goes over each member, eyes hard and unwavering until they soften into amusement.

"You are dismissed."

"Yes, sir." 

They file out of the main building within record time, Genma and Tenzo heading to the armory with he and Shisui for the "laundry room", aware that they only have 2 hours to prepare. While Jackal and Tiger retrieve Team Ro's custom weapons—that they don't have the luxury of keeping outside of missions, sadly—Hound and Crow are going to have to sort out their civilian attire to match each member’s persona.

They enter a building similar to a clothing store—racks of clothing everywhere you look—the only thing to separate the "Laundry Room" from any other clothes shop is the categories. Ranging from modern to royalty and business to farming, every look you need to pollish of your persona is within these walls - making it a haven for spies.

Not even bothering to pretend like he's going to take charge, Kakashi lets Shisui tug the file out of his hands and give the information about their identities a once over.

The younger man snorts before he makes to grab Kakashi's arm, but thinks twice about it when he meets a glare that could turn the russian mountains into a blazing inferno.

He lifts his hands up in a gesture of innocence—completely ruined by the mischievous glint in his eye that turns abruptly red as Shisui activates his quirk. In a swirl of wind followed by a slight distortion, Shisui disappears.

Strategically, Shisui had an amazing Quirk: the ability to transport himself, along with anything he touches, to wherever he wanted—as long as the destination is in his field of vision. Pair that with eyes that can sharpen to the point of being able to spot a single blade of grass from over a hundred meters away?

The perfect example of a successful dual-aspect quirk.

Personally, there is a reason that Kakashi dislikes teleporters, and the little crow is solely to blame. One mission including Kakashi, Shisui and multiple teleportations in succession had Kakashi's entire body disagreeing with him for nearly a _ week _.

It's safe to say that given the choice, he'd rather _ crawl _ then go through that again.

Or surf on Tenzo's branches.

He takes his time walking through the modern section, leaving Shisui to handle most of their attire seeing as he was more experienced in long-term infiltration. 

What _ he _ was actually here for was a little different.

All of Team Ro, except for Tenzo (who would act as support given his horrible poker face), were given roles to perform. 

Shisui would be playing the part of an aspiring scientist with the unfortunate habit of disregarding morals. "Watanabe Shunsuke's" ambition and unique eyesight would serve to make the disguise all the more convincing.

To tie in Genma's appearance without raising more than the initial suspicion, "Watanabe Genichi" would act as Shisui's estranged uncle, a washed up broker looking to make a fortune off of Shunsuke's brilliance. An investment of money and underworld connections that Genichi will offer to the dying Cobra Core will serve as a convincer.

And Kakashi would be further incentive. 

The Fox, an infamous broker is, above all else, a businessman. The little of what the underworld knows consist of rumors, describing him as cunning with a ruthless reputation for getting what he wants. It is a reputation that took Minato years to build and Kakashi a monumental effort to revive after his death. ANBU has been making use of the persona of Fox as a source of information ever since, sending out agents to keep the reputation alive—taking advantage of the fact that no one has a clear description on the broker.

Nonetheless, that doesn't mean that Kakashi can slack off on appearances. If he is to act as a potential buyer, he has to look the part.

Hence, why he walks past a skipping Shisui in the business isle, all signs of his previous leg injury gone, and instead turns into the "Barber Shop". He's overdue for a haircut, and a good dye wouldn't hurt.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mo Dao Zu Shi (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) - I've been obsessed with it.
> 
> It's a supernatural Chinese novel turned into a anime - which is lacking in my opinion. But, do yourself a favour and go on ExiledRebelsScanlations and read it if you love a good long plot and gay relationships. Check out the manga for it as well (but you have to read the novel to understand it!)
> 
> Ps. Expect explicit content - both gory and otherwise.


	6. The Sun Is Setting, Don't Trust Your Hearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't scare me, but you should fear me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: Monster by Besomorph
> 
> So, this took longer than expected. Not entirely happy but *shrugs* have this long ass chapter.
> 
> Quick note: Mutant, mutated = refers to quirks which have drastically altered the hosts body e.g. Half-wolf Kakashi.
> 
> Underground = refers to underground heroes.

**Previously:** _After Kakashi's day out with little Naruto, Jiraiya and him have a little talk. The morning after, Hound is called into ANBU for a mission - gathering intel on an anti-mutant organization called Cobra Core. They prepare._

* * *

Kakashi—Hound, or "_Fox_", now—leans back against the wall behind him, wisps of smoke escaping into the cool night air as he sighs into the still air of a convenience store parking lot just at the edge of the city.

It’s been two weeks since the start of their mission, and they were far too behind on schedule.

As ordered, they had gathered as much information on the members in the amount of time that was possible. They staked out shoddy warehouses, tracked movements and confirmed identities. After putting everything they needed into place, they set out to gather information on exactly what they were doing. 

The Cobra Core was a small group of protesters, hell-bent on putting those with mutant type quirks on a tight leash—for the public's safety. They had appealed to the government for years, but when it became clear that they were getting nowhere, they turned to the civilians, playing on their doubts and fears.

The heroes shut the Cobra Core down with an efficiency that you only saw when careers are on the line, and it was safe to say that the group lost a lot of members to prison after that.

It made sense that they would turn to _ other _ means of persuasion.

Persuasion that seemed to have attracted not only their attention. The Cobra Core had grown in both members and supplies—no doubt stolen by their growing forces—and it was a problem. 

Their numbers would catch attention from the hero community soon—something they were well aware of—and there was no way they would get either "Watanabes" inside. They had tried, and failed—the group’s apparent grudge against any shady investors made sure of it.

Kakashi had been livid when Genma and Shisui had stumbled back into their temporary base, having escaped by the skin of their teeth, but not entirely unscathed. Their lack of information had nearly cost them.

Kakashi would have to _have a talk_ with whoever was in charge of their information gathering.

Their initial plans were now useless, and agents Crow and Jackal were now compromised. That only left Plan C—the broker, Fox, piquing their interest enough for him to catch a look at their operations, or at least get a sample. That would have to be enough.

Without wasting any more time, the team had started to spread rumors of the Fox being in town. The goal being to tempt them into a partnership with the weight of his reputation alone that will no doubt resurface.

It would only be a matter of time before they would seek him out.

And within two days, they did. The plan worked.

Maybe a little _ too _ well.

Fox's black, trimmed ears turn subtly to left as he hears another shift on the roof. With a subtle inhale his suspicion is confirmed. Someone is watching him. Past the smell of the black dye on his hair, the wisps of smoke trailing from the cigarette in his hand and the grime of the empty parking lot, is the scent of leather and sweat along with a smell distinctly _ human_.

He brings his wrist up to his face, pushing back his sleeve to see the watch under it. Under the guise of checking the time, he looks into the reflection of the glass, where a figure crouches in the night's shadows—an ineffective strategy with his eyes.

The girl is young, probably still in hero training—and she _ is _ definitely a hero, her dark costume and equipment of too high a quality for her age to be a villain.

That, and it would be hard to miss the symbol of Endeavor's agency on her shoulder.

Tension buzzes under his skin at the thought of heroes coming right when he's about to get an in, but he doesn't sense anyone with her.

Fox sighs into another drag of smoke as a car drives up to him. It would probably be too much to ask for her to not be noticed.

It takes about a minute before anyone gets out of the car, and their faces scream apprehensive. Given that he didn't give them enough time to stake out the area or place any protection around them, it makes sense. 

He had given them three hours to meet him, with a three person limit, giving an excuse along the lines of: _ "I'm leaving tonight, and I don’t have time for the usual posturing. Either you give me a worthwhile proposal, or I get on the next plane out of here." _

A big dark coat with a hood obscuring his features probably isn't reassuring them. But right now he is an infamous broker who can sell hell to the devil if the money was worth it—he isn't here to reassure them.

"Are you going to waste my time with your attachment issues to your car, or do you think 

you can step away long enough to keep my interest?" His voice comes out low and rough because of the voice modulator that Genma took from the armory.

He makes his impatience obvious in the annoyed clip of his sentences and the rhythmic tapping of his paw—and it garners an immediate reaction.

The shortest of the three—identified as Sara Tanaka, the person in charge of this negotiation, judging by her body language in comparison to the other two—steps forward.

"You are..._mutated_." Her tone makes it clear that it's not just an observation, but an open display of disgust.

It had come up when they were going over the details of his infiltration. He, a man with a mutated physiology, trying to gain the favor of an anti-mutant quirks organization. They had expected this—he could hide his ears and tail, but his legs not so much, and he was fully intending to take advantage of their desperation to force them to look past the nature of his body. (He couldn't shift his physiology, not so soon after the last time.)

He raises a black eyebrow, letting his mouth turn down in a sign of displeasure. The man to her left with a meek presence and an overwhelming scent of chemicals—a chemist, most likely—shuffles anxiously. His discolored and callused hand twitches, as if to reach out to the woman he's practically hiding behind. Team Ro hasn't seen him yet, so they have no identification for the man. Both look similar, though.

Family, perhaps?

He files the thought away for later.

"If you're aiming to impress me with your _ exceptional _ observational skills, you're failing." 

He takes another drag of his cigarette while looking the man on her right up and down—surely the bodyguard, given the impractical amount of weaponry on him. He suspects the man is muscle for hire. The burn of the smoke in his lungs is neither pleasant nor unpleasant. He almost chokes on it with the woman's bitter reply.

"Do not use that tone with me, _ scum_."

Surprise skitters at the edge of his awareness, but experience tamps down on it like a heavy boot on an ant. Such reactions are useless in the field.

The cigarette just at the edge of his mouth wavers. He gives the tobacco roll a glance, deliberate, before slowly lowering it to his other arm, twisting it onto the expensive watch on his wrist. His unsheathed claws glint in the sickly street light.

The message is clear: he's running out of patience.

The meek man grabs onto the woman's sleeve, stopping any more insults in their tracks.

"A-apologies, Fox-san. W-we were just caught by surprise. You see, we, a-as an organization, are against mutant quirks."

The man quickly registers how that sounds and hurriedly backtracks.

"I-I, what I mean is that they get to use their quirks freely in public, only because they’re physical manifestations. They can bite and claw at people and it's "self-defense", while we need to hold back and-"

The man stops abruptly as Fox yawns obnoxiously, making sure to flash his canines.

"O-of course it's just the d-dangerous ones." the chemist finishes weakly.

_Ah, fighting for a just cause—criminals who are "cruel to be kind". It's dangerous._

He digs the keys out of his coat pocket and moves to turn to the car parked in the shadow of the building.

"That's _ wonderful_." The two words drip with sarcasm. "Thank you for wasting my time."

They’re getting nowhere. He needs to move things along so that he can deal with the girl above him. They'll cave eventually, though—like any criminal organization, if they didn’t have a reliable broker, not to mention their hatred towards investors, they would die out. His reputation is too much of a golden ticket for them to let him go.

The bodyguard hovers his hand near his gun, and he snorts in dismissal as he swings his car keys around his claw.

And just before the surly woman with too much anger for her height can begrudgingly open her mouth to, no doubt, make the offer he has been waiting for-

_ THUD._

Things never go exactly as planned, in ANBU, that is known as a fact of life. You can make contingency plan after contingency plan, all the way from A through Z. It won’t stop things from straying from the plan.

Improvising is just as much of a skill as slitting the throat of your target from behind.

On instinct, he whirls around, guns grabbed out from behind his back in record time and aims one at the figure that slipped from the roof and fell to the concrete floor. Definitely not a graceful descent, judging by the blood running from her nose. His other gun trained in the direction of the other three.

Before the Cobra's can react, Fox decides to make the best of the situation.

"What the _ fuck _ is this?” Kakashi makes sure to sound absolutely incensed, as “Fox” would be if this situation had actually been real for him. “The deal was three people, but you have one of your fanatics crawl up behind me?"

"No, wait-"

"I gave you this courtesy because of the rumors floating around about something you’re working on."

Hopefully, giving away the fact that he's here for their drugs will push them into using that as an offer. If it works he won't have to search around their base. They'll hand it right to him. 

It's a risky gamble, but one he's willing to bet he'll win.

They won't have gotten everything the Sandaime wanted, but beggars can't be choosers; their information was faulty, the Cobra's weren't nearly as desperate as Kakashi was led on to believe, and they made the best out of what they have.

Aiming to firmly push them into a corner, he adds, "It seems that my interest was a mistake."

His spur of the moment plan plays out perfectly.

Her previous bravado nowhere in sight, Tanaka makes an "offer of a lifetime,'' presence purposefully docile and pretty face downtrodden to lure in his compliance. A cheap psychological trick. 

(Somewhere behind Fox's mask, Hound radiates disgust while Kakashi snickers in the confines of his mind.)

Upon the subtle attempt of escape and a pointed look from Tanaka, the muscle of the group stomps to the heroines crawling on the ground and grabs her by the hair, dragging her back to the splatter of red on the pavement. The girl yelps while frantically clawing at the man’s fists, an impressive amount of unorthodox profanities escaping her blood smeared lips.

"Like I said," Tanaka grinds out between her teeth, the chemist behind her shrinking in on himself, "We've been working on a drug that causes the brain to go haywire—basically making people go bonk-"

The man jumps out from behind her, expression looking pained at her explanation while he starts to ramble.

"Well, actually—s-sorry for interrupting. It's actually more of the brain short-circuiting and then falling back on basic instinct which causes people to revert to their most basic desires, but of course this only works on those with quirks that have mutated their bodies heavily-"

The man jerks as he looks into the woman's fierce glare, previous docile demeanour abandoned.

"We have been improving on its limits," comes her icy voice as her gaze drills into the man.

"That's all well and good," Fox drawls, unimpressed, "but how do I know this whole thing isn't just a ploy? Her presence," he nods to the girl, who whimpers as the grip on her hair tightens, "can't _ possibly _ be a coincidence."

"I assure you, it isn't. There have been some people who want to get rid of us. A man made us an offer for what we were creating, but we weren't satisfied with the terms— thus, he tried to wipe us out and take our creations with force. Rest assured, we dealt with it, but leaks _ do _ happen. That is why we want to do business with _you_. You are professional. Elite."

Fox's black brows raise in amusement at the continuing change of her personality. One second second she's like an angry teenager and the next she's all business—she'd make a fantastic spy.

"Your reputation is reliable, it is clear how we could benefit from your help. We need unique supplies you could get with ease, and with you marketing our drugs our numbers are bound to grow..."

She looks lost for a second, like she's not sure what more to say, before her uncertainty flickers out and she continues.

"Now...let us show you how we could benefit you. The drug my brother was talking about," so they _ are _ siblings, "the Cobra Core will give you a sample of our latest success to test out. This one can affect all mutated reptilian quirks."

Seeing the intrigued expression on Fox's face, she continues with an ominous smirk, "And it's only the beginning."

Giving the impression of mulling over it, he hums as if in thought.

"And how will you give me this sample?"

As if suddenly realizing something, her brother perks up with an, "Ah!"

"Lucky for you, Fox-san, I was testing some out when I got your...request. We never got to seal it away properly, so I just brought it with me for save keeping." 

With a devious grin, she pulls a half-empty vial out of her coat, the liquid inside a thick venomous looking yellow, "All you need to do is inject it at the back of the neck, close to the spinal cord, and it will start to take effect in a couple of days, six at the most."

She walks closer to him with a sickly sweet smile, the hulking man turning as if to follow her before she stops him with a look. Her voice takes on a flirtatious tone.

"Don't worry, Foxy, we don't hate all mutants, we just want the bad ones on a tighter leash."

With a huff of amusement he takes the vial from her outstretched hand (and given the fact thatthat she just gave it to him without anymore fuss makes him revise how desperate they must be), her fingers running along his claws in a manner that could've been called reverent if the gesture wasn't a complete one-eighty from her initial disgust.

Boy, does this woman have layers.

"Careful, Tanaka-chan, I hear that no matter how much a snake sheds its skin, It's still a snake."

She mirrors the amused tilt of his lips before walking to their nondescript car, "Kill the girl and hide the body," she orders to the man holding the hero, her words making the chemist shudder.

"Mm, _ actually_—I've got a better use for her."

The girls eyes widen in fear and her struggle renews against the hands holding her. Tanaka snorts dismissively while dragging her brother into the back seat.

"Whatever makes you happy, Fox-san."

The group of three drive off, the soft sounds of the engine fading leaving Kakashi to stand in the midnight air—pleased at the outcome.

"Well, that could have gone worse," Kakashi muses out loud.

"I agree, impressive quick thinking, senpai."

The girl at his feet—who hadn't dared move after the Cobra Core's bodyguard had thrown her down—startles so badly that her entire body jerks, her chin hitting the ground with a crack.

Kakashi winces in sympathy while Tenzo hops down from the nearby tree, face apologetic.

"Sorry I couldn't pull you away, it would have alerted them to my presence." The girl looks incredulously at Tenzo.

Now that he actually takes the time to study her, she looks around his age, seventeen if he has to guess. It would seem pretty weird for a sixteen-year-old boy to casually climb out from a tree and apologise to her after an illegal trade.

"You people always have the worst timing, butting into other people's business with no regard to others." Kakashi sighs, adrenalin starting to fade, "But, in this instance, I'll admit that it did work in my favour."

Kakashi looks up to the barely visible stars and grimaces. "What am I going to do with you?"

Tenzo walks up to him, eyes trained on their newest problem, "We can't let the girl alert anyone about what just happened." 

"I'm aware."

"This girl _ has a name _."

"I'm aware." Kakashi repeats...and continues as if he hadn't heard anything. "We'll have to take her to HQ to be scrubbed of her memories" He tsks at the extra work, "Besides, we have what we came for, at least that which we could get. There's no point in lingering around." There would be no point in delaying Sarutobi's ire at only getting one drug.

Kakashi and Tenzo both droop.

Swiftly, motivating himself to get it over with, Kakashi moves towards his car—(the car he had stolen)—and opens the backseat wide while stepping back and making a sweeping motion with his hand. Without further delay, Tenzo's limbs move and the tree's branches behind him move with him. The girl shrieks as wooden tendrils wrap around her, until her mouth, too, is covered.

Tenzo gently sets her down onto the backseat's cushions before calmly destangeling the branch connected to the tree, closing the door and walking around to the passenger side.

Kakashi turns up the stereo to drum out their Problem's insistent muffled screams as they turn onto the road.

* * *

As soon as Team Ro had arrived at ANBU HQ, they had immediately gone to Sarutobi's office, Kakashi nearly dragging a reluctant Shisui behind him.

It had gone as well as they had expected. Which wasn't good.

There had been no sounds of yelling or things breaking, in fact, there had been no sounds at all. They had gone in, stood in front of their Hokage, waited silently for him to read their report, the one vial of...whatever that was, next to him. The silence had stretched far past their level of comfort—warning bells rang.

The heavy sigh that the old man had given had Tenzo and Shisui looking down in shame and Genma clenching his teeth. They had failed.

But there wasn't much else they could do. Their information had been lacking, dangerously so. Genma's broken finger and Shisui's black eye were merely a fraction of what could have been done to them if they strayed from their cover story. People had already been threatening the Cobra Core, an indication of just how much they had grown - which they had never been told. The fact that they got something as important as their newest achievement was something of a miracle, especially given their time limit.

Their trifling success had only been because of their preparation and improvisation.

Kakashi had felt his quiet resignation burn into anger—it wasn't Tenzo’s or Shisui’s or Genma's fault. Though, just before he could open his mouth to tell the Sandaime as much, the man broke the tense silence.

He apologized.

The room had quieted again, this time with shock.

Kakashi remembers Sarutobi leaning forward onto that old oak desk of his—the crafted wood cracked and notched with scars, as old as the establishment itself, having stood witnesses to multiple orders of missions like these, assassination and torture. The stories it would be able to tell.

The Sandaime had ordered them to take the next two weeks off, giving them no explanation to his sudden apology before dismissing them.

The following trip to the locker room had been done in confused silence. They had all left without saying goodbye, all to engrossed in their on minds.

(Kakashi had tried to go track down the bastard who botched their intel, but the man had retired...)

When they next saw Sarutobi it was at the briefing of their next mission two weeks later, exactly after their leave was up. It would be a joint effort between his team and two others to wipe the Cobra Core off the face of the earth, leaving no trace behind. It was clear that whatever they've been manufacturing could not be distributed.

Again, the lack of information was a problem. Or rather a leak of the information. They had been waiting for them. The situation didn't change much from the inevitable, Cobra Core's fall, but trying to do it quietly was proving difficult.

Hound's breathing rushes out in steady pants, the tempo increasing as he pushes his legs to go faster. He's almost got her.

He jumps to the next building and digs his paws into the roof beneath him while throwing his right arm back, forcing his claws into the cement to slow his momentum. His ears flick madly as he searches for the figure that slipped out of the chaos of the Cobra Core's annihilation, a sea of bubbles floating in her getaway path, revealing Sara Tanaka's quirk.

It didn't take long for Hound to realise why she was giving herself away, leaving such an obvious trail. 

As soon as they got close enough to see her weaving between alleyways, the bubbles surrounding them began to boil ominously. Until the glossy blue spheres turned green, and they popped. The innocent sound became foreboding as hundreds of them burst, raining acid on down on them. Not all of them escaped out of range, but luckily, ANBU standard gear were sturdier than most and the acid-containing bubbles could only float so high.

A retreat was the logical choice seeing as the three people who chased after her, Hound included, weren't equipped to deal with her bubbles shielding her. That didn't mean they could just let her go—if he followed her he would have a better chance at catching her off guard. 

Decision made, Hound had ordered the other two operatives to go back to the main site while he turned to follow Sara Tanaka from the shadows.

It didn't take long for him to catch up to her with her pace slowing by every second, and it had been clear to him by her sure movement that she had planned out this route in advance. But, judging by the lack of other people of her organization hidden along the path to help her, she clearly hadn't expected to use it. 

Hound had stuck to the outskirts of her path, keeping enough distance to not disturb the few bubbles that she was still releasing. He didn't know the specific mechanics behind her quirk, so it was safer to assume that she could detect movement near them. 

A series of taps came through the communication device in his ear every now and then, keeping him updated on the situation at the Cobra's base as he had moved further away from the industrial area and into the small and poor residential properties on Musutafu's border. 

Now, he watches her sneak into a small brick house as he is notified of ANBU's success in subduing the resistance. Immediately he sends his team his location as lights switch on through the window from his perch on the neighboring house's roof.

It doesn't take long for him to hear raised voices inside.

He sneaks closer to the edge of the roof while avoiding holes and loose wires. He's extra careful of the loose tiles he can feel shifting under him. It was a delicate balancing act. He couldn’t risk pushing his body too far away if he didn’t want to get spotted, and he couldn’t let go of his weight unless he wanted to slide right off. Alas, this was the only good vantage point he could see from.

His ears twitch forward at the sound of a cry from the second voice, but it doesn't seem to be of pain. Frustration, Hound would say, given that the voices continue in what sounds to be an argument—he may have better ears than most, but he still has his limits—the distance and walls between him and them cause the words to come out muffled. Hound eyes the roof over his target’s head.

"If you're looking for that rickety thing to hold your weight, I think you should consider cutting down on your carbs."

Hound doesn't twitch at the new voice, much closer and much more familiar than the crow mask that looks up at him from the ground beneath him. 

Crow's uniform is torn and bloody in various places, but Hound can't see any visible skin peaking out and his stance and movement doesn't suggest anything debilitating or incapacitating. 

The blood must not be his, or at least not entirely. It's not a hard assumption to make given Crow's speed and stealth, the most he usually gets are just a few bruises and surface scrapes—unless he decides to do something reckless.

But, people tell him recklessness runs in the team.

Not giving any indication that he heard a single word, Hound signs out an order in ANBU code for Crow to teleport them both over into their targets kitchen that's visible from the window. 

After the rest of his team's arrival, Jackal and Cat station themselves around the house at the wave of his hand, ready to jump in if they need the help. Though, at that point, they probably won't be able to subdue her. Only distance fighters like Jackal with his poisons and Cat with his plants will be able to slow her down.

(Considering her Quirk uses an acid-like substance, it wouldn't be too farfetched to assume she has some resistance to acids, and by extension, poison and other toxins.)

But, that's why Hound's planning on doing this quickly and quietly without giving anyone the chance to retaliate. That's why, regardless of his assumption, Hound snags a few senbon off of Jackal with enough tranquilizer in it to bring down a horse in _ seconds. _And that’s only one senbon. It’s not fatal, but it will make the unfortunate victim fall unconscious very, very, very quickly.

Crow's quick teleportation still makes his stomach tighten, but the feeling soon fades as he takes a few silent breaths from his place against the kitchen wall. Hound sees Crow's shoulders shake in amusement that only lasts until both of their backs snap straight at the sound of shattering down the hall.

They wait with bated breath, but no other sound follows. With careful steps, they cross through the kitchen door and into the narrow hallway with paint peeling at the sides. Hound takes a breath through his nose and sorts through the different smells before he starts to move with intent, two senbon held firmly between the bend of his fingers (like Jackal had once shown him, when the man himself was skinny and lanky and not yet a man—a long time ago.) 

Both Hound and Crow have moved to standing at opposite sides of what looks to be the bathroom when they hear a broken whisper.

"...You promised me."

"Look at what those mutated freaks did to you! How could I just leave it?" Hound immediately identifies the second voice as Sara Tanaka's.

"You lied, you promised me...what have you done?" The other woman in the bathroom asks horrified, repeating herself over and over again.

Hound peeks around the corner and sees Sara Tanaka on her knees in front of a pale woman in a wheelchair, pill bottles scattered around with shards of glass, no doubt het sound they heard earlier. Both have tears streaming down their faces.

"I told you that it didn't matter anymore. I told you that I didn't want revenge. I told you that I wanted to move on and get out of this hell-hole, and I am so close, it took me so many years but I'm so, so close...It took me so long, and what have you been doing all these years? Killing people?" As the woman keeps speaking her tone grows more detached.

"You said you'd help me after the accident. This is not helping me. _ This is not helping me!" _ Something inside the woman seems to snap, and she starts to bawl, her breath hitching in ugly sobs as Sara Tanaka looks on with guilt written over her face, whispering empty words of comfort.

Dots begin to connect, the reason behind Sara Tanaka's hate for mutants, the creation of the Cobra Core. Something must have happened to the other woman, the incident related to people with mutation quirks. He pushes his thoughts away for later and focuses on the task at hand.

Seeing the moment for the opportunity that it is, Hound turns the corner and flicks his hand to his target. The senbon hits Sara's arm without a sound, and she stops speaking abruptly. She doesn’t turn, staring at the shaking woman before her as if in a trance.

The moment doesn't last long before the guilt on Sara Tanaka's face turns to anger.

"I'll give you the drugs," she growls out.

Both of them ignore her, and Crow moves towards the woman still sobbing in her wheelchair.

Sara turns to Crow, a crazed look in her eye fueled by the tranquilizer as she lunges to stand between the woman and Crow. "I'll give you the fucking drugs, old man! I'll give you everything and I'll make more, I'll make anything, I'll work for you!"

Crow and Hound exchange a look. 

"And who exactly is this old man?" Hound asks in a neutral tone while scrutinizing the way her eyes are drooping, and she's leaning to one side. She's fading fast.

"I should've listened, you were right, I can't do anything here," She whispers frantically, tremors wracking through her body as bubbles start to rise off of her skin. "I'll follow you, I'll b-bring them to their _ knees_, and then I'll tear off your bandages and beat you with your own cane!"

Her body sways as her face splits into a creepy grin. "Not one of your pets will be able to stop me! Not the _ birdie_, not the _ mole _ , not the _ ant! _ They'll never hurt us again, _ no one _ will, my love." She slurs to the other woman, face content before she collapses to the ground and her bubbles pop harmlessly, evaporating into the air.

The bathroom quiets with only the heavy breathing of the other woman peeking at the body on the ground through her fingers with wide eyes. They soon roll back into her head with an injection from Crow.

Neither of them speak as they collect both of the women and head out into the night, leaving Jackal and Cat to erase any trace of previous human life.

The rest of the night goes smoothly and Hound and Crow file away Sara's mad ravings for later.

* * *

Months later:

  
  


Kakashi feels irritation lick at him as he sits in one of the many chairs of one of the many conference rooms in Musutafu's main government facility. Beside him are the rest of the captains currently not out on any missions, forced to dress in the "standard uniform"—read: public uniform—of black slacks, a green vest and blank masks after arriving to answer their Hokage's sudden summons.

He suppresses the urge to flatten his ears against his hair as a big mouse-rat _ thing _ scrutinizes them. Those beady eyes are far too innocent looking to be genuine.

His only consolation in being unknowingly dragged into a meeting with upper-rank Pro-heroes, and co, is that the ANBU around him were just as blindsided as he was. Judging by their twitching muscles upon entry—he's certain they feel just as naked as he does. It's really too bad that the secretary asked them to relinquish their weaponry, the Hokage's stern nod ensuring that they gave in the hidden ones as well. 

At least he has a good seat, right in the corner where he's has a good view of the room and elevator. Kakashi ignores the subtle huff the captain next to him expels, no doubt peeved that he lost the opportunity. He also ignores the glares from across the table.

It was no secret among his peers that Pro-Heroes, especially the higher ranked ones, don’t like the ANBU. 

With a reputation like theirs, combined with their "pesky habit of interfering" as they've been told, it's only natural, even if said reputation is a little skewed, mostly to hide their more..._ unsavory _ dealings.

_ If only they knew what we really do._

He internally winces at the headache the mere thought brings. They'd probably be outraged, _ disgusted_.

But, hey. Even some of the more empathetic members of ANBU feel the same, but if they won't be the professional spies and lethal assassins, if they won’t do the work the heroes can't, _ who will_?

Regardless, he's interested to see why they've been called here.

He turns his attention to the gathering Pro-heroes across the table from them, noting that he's seen all of them in the Top Ten Heroes ranks before and, particularly, that there is one he doesn't recall having ever seen at all. By the dark unkempt hair the man's using to hide his assessing gaze, it seems intentional. He's most likely an underground hero. (The bandages makes it hard to see is face, though.)

Despite what some uninformed heroes—though, by no fault of their own—may think, underground heroes and ANBU agents actually share few similarities.

ANBU may work in the shadows and behind the curtains, but that doesn't mean they're never in the spotlight. Subtlety is a vital part of being an operative of ANBU, and many agents have become the love or even scorn of the public for the sake of manipulation. Here is where they differ: Underground's, no matter how much they stay out of the spotlight, are still _ heroes_. With a professional license and registered quirks and a strict moral code they lean on—it makes them reliable,it makes them trustworthy, it makes them a liability. 

ANBU, however? They are prepared to do anything for their objective; lie, use, kill; they have mission parameters they follow, it makes things uncomplicated. All information on them was kept within their own records, and very, very hard to gain access to. 

But still, Undergrounds were nothing to be messed with. Even independent with limited resources they're still willing to delve into the darker side of the alleyway, and that is enough to earn enough of Kakashi's respect.

Of course, that's if they're actually doing their jobs and not secretly aiding criminals for their own gain.

He shifts slightly when he sees most of the seats are filled and makes himself comfortable in case he'll be there for a while, freeing his tail from where it was trapped between him and the chair, shaking it slightly to rid himself of the pins-and-needles feeling numbing the appendage.

Kakashi stills as he hears the echoes of a deep, gruff, _ irritated _ voice from the elevator, the sound clear after the rest of the occupants of the room quieted abruptly. He and the rest of the ANBU don't miss as a few of the Pro's tense up, only a few don't react beyond a sigh while...the red-winged hero smiles?

Interesting.

It only takes the elevator opening a few inches, letting in a rush of warm air and the sight of a deep scowl, for Kakashi to identify the gruff voice. The flame hero Endeavor—a huge asshole from what he's heard.

And All Might right next to him—the No.1 hero. And well, that explains the No. 2's irritation. Kakashi has heard that the two definitely aren’t the best of friends despite All Might's unwavering cheer and kindness.

The sight of the two figures entering the room at the same time gives a feeling of whiplash. One man has a scowl so deep it makes him look ancient while the other has a smile so wide it would force probably Gai to step off of his pedestal of Most Youthful.

It does take away a little of the tension at the fact that all the top Pro Heroes and ANBU captains have been called in for a meeting with government officials and that it has never happened before. Ever. 

While both men approach, they seem to notice that there is only one seat left at the head of the table where the Sandaime and mouse are conversing quietly along with another man in a suit. All Might heads for the seat without breaking stride.

Kakashi snorts inwardly as all the occupants sitting next to open chairs seem to shrink into themselves.

He fails to notice that he is one of them.

All Might, the definition of Rightful Justice moves to sit next to the Sandaime—whose eyes Kakashi has been shamelessly avoiding.

It's childish, he knows, but how else can he express his displeasure without risking a reprimand?

This is a prime example of why some people don't like Kakashi outside of missions. This is also a prime example of Kakashi running out of patience and fucks to give.

But they sure do make a valiant effort to return as the flaming brick house glaring in distaste at all the ANBU—actually, everyone—makes a beeline for the chair opposite All-Might.

The chair next to Kakashi squeaks in protest at the man's weight, and he debates making a similar sound of displeasure at the uncomfortable heat engulfing him.

He just _ had _ to pick the seat opposite of All Might.

_ Sigh. _

  
  


* * *

_ "—reports in several different parts of Japan have documented this rapid rise in criminal activity in the last months. Officials have been tracking down the root of the problem, but they have yet to identify the source.” _

_ “Are the villains growing more confident? Is there a new sheriff in town, instigating their boldness? Is this connected to the Tokyo Hero Kidnappings?—" _

There's a click and the channel switches.

_ "—just in. The Tokyo Hero Kidnappings have escalated to new heights. Local sightings have verified the return of one of Tokyo's missing heroes, Pro-hero Mr. Brave after his alleged kidnapping. The hero was reported to have acted violently, attacking fellow heroes as well as civilians. Mr. Brave has been restrained and taken to Tokyo's central hospital, but the question stands, what happen—" _

The channel switches again.

_ "—are in outrage at the lack of support from Kyoto's heroes and have taken to protesting in front of—" _

A man and woman stand together, crying on the screen, a microphone held in front of their faces.

_ "What hero school can't protect their own students. They're heroes, why couldn't they prevent my little girl from being taken. Why are the other Pro's doing _ nothing _ ." _

Silence settles over the conference room after the last clip played until the Sandaime speaks in a grave voice.

"We have called you all here because the situation has reached critical conditions."

Without missing a second, Endeavor explodes. "What is the meaning of this? What is happening? Why have we not been notified?"

"Because we decided to keep everything under wraps and contained until we could fully analyse the situation. There is no need to cause widespread panic," the man in the suit says.

Kakashi sees All Might's smile twitching and focuses his attention on the man.

"An explanation on the circumstances would be appreciated."

So it seems he didn't know either.

The Sandaime sighs. "Let's start from the beginning."

And so, the entire room was informed of how ANBU had come across a group creating a dangerous drug targeting mutation type quirks, and how they had seen the danger and wiped them out. 

They were also briefed on how the drug had vanished from their archives, along with the group's leader that they had captured. Kakashi struggled not to react at the mention of her escape and the few glares that are directed their way. (His mind goes back to her incoherent ramblings about an old man and his pets and wonders if it's not connected).

And then: "It seems the drug has resurfaced with a modification."

"The Pro-hero who came back, he wasn't that heavily mutated before," the winged hero—Hawks, the current number 3, Kakashi remembers, says, "They changed his quirk?"

"Correct, but that's not all that has changed. As I'm sure you're all aware, quirks that drastically change the body have a certain effect on the mind. This effect results in a "superior hind-brain"—it means that instincts play a larger role in cognitive and body functions, allowing the extra strain of a mutation to work without overloading the brain. The greater the mutation, the more reliant you are on your hindbrain. The drug takes advantage of that, sending too many chemical signals to the brain and "short-circuiting" it, forcing the hindbrain to take control."

"But the limit has changed," the underground hero continues. "A week ago I was doing patrol on my side of Musutafu when a villain tried to inject me with te substance. I managed to subdue him and took the injection vial to the appropriate people. The drug was unstable, most likely because of the amount of Trigger in it and dissolved itself."

There were murmurs of surprise, Trigger, an illegal quirk enhancer paired with a drug that shuts off all logical thought—it's the makings of a mass blind rampage.

"They're injecting heroes with these? And not just those with mutations?" Best Jeanist asks, eyes narrowed.

"Yes, but we've only had a handful of cases across Tokyo so far. The drug doesn't last more than a few hours, although it does vary based on a few factors such as body mass and exactly what kind of quirk you have. Not everyone acts violently when under the drug either, so it's hard to pin an exact number. We've already started notifying heroes of an unknown substance going around and to go to the hospital if they've been injected with something. The hospitals are being briefed about this as well."

"What does this have to do with the kidnapping of the girl?" the ninja hero, Edgeshot, asks.

"Nezu-san, if you will?" The man looks to the...mouse? Nezu—the name sounds familiar.

"Of course. We think it's all connected. You see, I spoke with the Hero School at fault and they had some very interesting claims. Apparently, the attempted kidnappings have been happening for a while."

Ah, yes. Nezu, UA's principle. 

At this, a strangely silent All Might's brows furrow deeper as his smile drops completely from where it had steadily dimmed. "How long?"

"About a month, but although they brought it to the local police's attention, nothing changed. The girl isn't the only one that's been taken, a middle school in the same city also had the same problem. Strangely enough, some kids have even been given back with them retaining no memory of the event."

"How has this not reached the government?" Endeavor grinds out at the suit clad man.

"The city is fairly small and out of the way, our reach doesn't really stretch that far. Besides, as Nezu-san said, many were returned without any sign of harm." The man defends.

"How many?" Kakashi asks. Everyone's attention seems to focus on him, looking mildly shocked that he chose to speak.

The Sandaime replies. "Overall, a total of fourteen children have gone missing in the past month in that area and 5 Pro's. Half of the children were in hero schools, the other half in middle schools. All of them have quirks with some potential. It's too early to see a clear pattern, so there is no telling what whoever is orchestrating this would want with children."

Kakashi can think of a few reasons, and by how everyone else seems uncomfortable, he guesses that they've also thought of a few.

Experimentation was the clearest answer, though.

"The biggest question now," Nezu begins, "is what their motives are, but we can't sit around and wait for them to tell us. It's clear that something big is happening, and we need to prepare."

"Agreed!" All Might's voice booms and Kakashi's vision overlaps with an image of Gai before he cringes and pushes the image away.

...he clearly needs to catch up on sleep.

"At this moment, tracking down the source and protecting the children are priority number one. Everything we've just said in this room is going to be kept between us to prevent a leak and eventual panic. That leaves only you ten in charge of the situation on the hero front." Nezu finishes.

"Then what will we do about the children?" Another Pro pipes up.

"That will be left to me." the Sandaime answers.

Kakashi wonders about the statement and comes to the conclusion that it's probably an effort to save face. It's their fault the drug is out and about after all. (And he wonders again on how that happened, exactly.)

"And what if we can't track down the drug dealers and stop them? Protecting the children won't be a permanent solution." The Underground looks at the ANBU.

"Then what do you suggest?" one of the other ANBU captains asked.

"We train the children to protect themselves."

"Aren't you supposed to do that already, _ Eraserhead._" Endeavor sneers.

"What a swell guy." Kakashi grumbles under his breath.

He turns away from one of the older ANBU Captains glaring at him, focusing on the Hero with the scarf and/or weapon around his neck. _ Eraserhead_. Well, he's definitely heard weirder names.

"We are preparing them to be Pro-heroes in the spotlight, where the most common situations are frontal assaults. We don't train them for threats coming from the shadows as intensively as is necessary, that's pu to which Pro-hero the shadow." Eraserhead looks to the Sandaime.

"We need to speed the process up, and what better way than through the professionals." The statement sounds a little too rehearsed to Kakashi's good ears.

_ We clearly weren't his first option._

Eraserhead doesn't seem like the type of person to make assumptions based on rumors. That means he's smart enough to pic out the holes in ANBU's "reputation". A problem, but for the Sandaime to deal with. 

It's quiet for a few moments until the rest of the heroes start to agree, if reluctantly.

Kakashi sees the amusement in his fellow coworkers as they observe the ongoings before them like they're watching a particularly bad play. Setting his enjoyment aside, Kakashi leans forward to rest his elbows on top of the table, thinking it through. His thoughts are interrupted by All Might's unnecessary loud voice.

"And who will be tasked with this assignment?" All Might beams.

The Director looks around the table, before his eyes settle on Kakashi. "I have a few people in mind."

The Director's lips quirk up slightly as if to say, "Problem?"

...No, not at all.


	7. I'm Still Haunted By The Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I need a little more time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title—Little Do You Know, Alex & Sierra.
> 
> And it's been a while and I'm afraid it might be this long to update for the foreseeable future...life kinda sucks right now and what little motivation there is will be spared for actual work.
> 
> But otherwise I hope this isn't to disjointed or whatever. Enjoy!

** _Previously_ ** _: Kakashi gets in contact with the Cobra Core as the infamous broker Fox. A Pro-hero crashes down on them but he still gets a sample of the drug they were creating, a substance messing with the brain. After analysis, ANBU decide that Cobra Core are a threat and takes them out. ANBU and Heroes have a meeting on the drugs disappearance and reappearance—the safety of schools are brought into question._

* * *

Looking back, Kakashi muses as he walks out of the Director’s office, it was really inevitable.

He had made ANBU Captain at seventeen, his mission success rate was one of the highest among his peers and he had trained almost a quarter of their division’s rookies. Most of whom were exemplary operatives.

He was pretty good at his job—if a little emotionally inept, but nobody is perfect—so it's no wonder they thought his file was amazing.

Amazing enough to work at UA, it seemed.

The _ joy _. 

~~~~~

_ The ANBU captains present were asked to leave the conference room for the Heroes to take their pick of the files the Director so graciously brought in advance. After four days of no news, Kakashi, along with a handful of other agents, were called in. _

_Officially, they were professional combat scenario instructors, assigned the goal of preparing the up and coming Heroes of the future to face against any and everything._

_"There is no specific timetable to this situation, so prepare yourself for a long-term mission.”_

_"In that time none of you are to return to ANBU while your assignment is ongoing, you will take the time to integrate yourselves into your assigned locations as teachers. You and your teams will all be our eyes."_

_Unofficially, they were to be stalkers, watching everyone's every move while babysitting children. _ So _ , what they all _ heard _ was that they were being forced to...take a break._

_"With your records, the Pros think you'll all be suitable for the kids to learn how a Pro-hero should handle themselves," the Director said, smiling wryly._

_Well, they obviously didn't read the fucking fine print._

_ ~~~~~ _

But it's all good. It's just another infiltration mission, of sorts. Keep to your cover, do what needs to be done.

So what if Kakashi was absolutely horrible with small children, so much so that he's been banned from interacting with anybody younger than twelve? He's horrible with people in general, but he still gets by when he needs to.

And so what if the Director gave him a pointed look when he very deliberately _ didn't _ force them onto leave? His psych evaluations are as good as they could ever possibly get —and if that's a testament to his acting skills, so what? Fake it 'til you make it, right?

_You're smart and resourceful, how bad could it be?_

(He ignores the fact that they all kill people for a living.)

* * *

"Uh, senpai? What are you doing?"

"Eating a rice ball." 

"No, why is your gear—_all _ of your gear in your backpack."

And Tenzou was right. Kakashi had stuffed all of his gear into his backpack, which was severely undersized for the amount of equipment he had tried to put in and was overflowing. Stray kunais and clothes were peeking out from the open zipper.

"Because I put it in there."

Tenzou sighs in frustration, and Kakashi turns to get a look at him. There are dark, heavy bags under his eyes—eyes that have seen too much darkness for how innocent (relatively) and young he is.

ANBU operatives never ask after each other's emotional states after a rough mission—an unspoken rule—but Kakashi can still see the way Tenzou twitches, his mouth pursed into a thin line.

They never show open concern—an unspoken rule—but Kakashi's heart clenches nonetheless. He finishes off the rice ball, and says, "I'm leaving for a while." 

He doesn't mention the fact that Team Ro will be leaving with him—a deliberate omission on his part. While teasing his teammates is fun and all, their wellbeing comes first. He'll have to see how they react to the situation at hand before he announces their involvement. 

It's an underhanded tactic, he's aware, but Kakashi likes to know where all his people stand. That way he knows how to utilize them best.

It would be disastrous to make an agent that despises children become a teacher, and while all four of them are assigned to the school, only two will actually teach while the rest will act as "assistants".

"Like 'A Mission' leaving?" Tenzou asks, eyeing the number of weapons Kakashi checked out of the armory with trepidation.

"Maa, something like that."

Tenzou gives Kakashi a scathing look.

"Fine, _ fine _. When did my precious little kohai get so cold!" Kakashi exclaims, pressing a hand to his heart, eyes wide in mock hurt. Tenzou 's tense shoulders unwind at the familiar display, if only a little.

Deciding that he might as well test his reaction, he speaks. "I've been assigned to a Hero school as a teacher."

Tenzou chokes on his spit, accidentally hitting his foot on a bench, leaving him stumbling into a locker.

There's the sound of someone choking from Kakashi's right as the newly arrived Genma grabs the doorway in support, expression frozen in shocked horror as the senbon previously in his mouth drops onto the floor.

Kakashi taps the knife he took out of his locker, pointedly aimed at their reactions.

As expected, his two coworkers brush of the halfhearted threat, focusing on the important matters:

"Who in their right mind would send you to a school? For _ children_?"

"The Director."

"Was he high on something?" Genma asks in genuine confusion while crouching, feeling the ground for his fallen weapon.

"I checked," Kakashi says solemnly, tail lashing in aggravation at the memory of the Sandaime smiling patiently under his not-so-subtle scrutiny.

Sensing the drop in his mood, Tenzōu tentatively asks if it couldn't be the school faculties heroes who requested him for his skills.

"They did?! Oh kami, we're doomed. This generation's heroes are delusional and the next are going to be trained by animals!" Genma wails dramatically.

"Hah-hah," Kakashi says, deadpan, whacking both of them with his tail as he passes them.

"So this is temporary?" Genma asks while busying himself with picking out a new senbon from his locker after failing to find the one he dropped. The question was asked with a calm nonchalance—too calm, alerting Kakashi to the fact that Genma was worried.

It isn't hard to draw the wrong conclusion. To those not informed this would look like a force of leave from ANBU being covered up with a made-up mission—which it technically was and wasn't at the same time. It was still a sort of leave, except they actually had an assignment, but it didn't include any hard mental strain. So, a semi-forced leave? 

Regardless, Genma probably thought Kakashi was losing his shit and therefore being sent on a "vacation" to the mental ward.

Tenzou seems to pick up on the hidden "are you coming back?" being asked, and his eyes lock onto Kakashi, face carefully devoid of emotion.

Taking pity on them, Kakashi decides that he'll get better results if he just inquires about their thoughts on the matter directly without actually asking.

"Of course," he says with confidence "I don't know how long it'll take, but luckily none of you need to worry about missing me."

"Eh?" Both Genma and Tenzou look confused.

"Why, of course you're all coming with your dear Taicho to suffer together," he says with false cheer, slamming his empty locker shut harder then he needs to before sauntering out into the hallway. 

Kami, the more he thinks about the mission the more he gets this strange urge to smack himself and flee.

As they wind through the halls Kakashi is bombarded with frantic questions about the mission, both seeming a bit nervous—what weapons couldn't be around children, what were they even _ supposed to do _ , how were they going to _ teach_, and _ why hadn’t he mentioned this earlier?! _

They don't complain enough for their displeasure to be aimed at the kids, though. He doesn't divulge any information about their assignment while they walk through HQ, wary of listening ears, but instead hands them their briefing files—Shisui's already given in passing since he was busy.

They reach the back entrance and Kakashi turns around. "If you have any questions after reading the file we’ll be meeting at the school in a few days to hammer out the details with the faculty. They should send a formal letter of invitation that will be passed on to you."

Although their faces seem gloomy, neither look as tense as when they thought Kakashi was leaving on his own.

They've come a long way, together. Like a pack they could function apart, but thrived as a team, rounding each other out—and, none of them would ever say it, but just like with a pack, if a member wasn't present the absence was felt.

Genma stares at the file for a while before blurting out, "Aw, well, this sucks." 

Tenzo’s eye twitches, nerves already visibly frayed, and before he can catch himself he pushes his heel down on the older man's toe.

"Ah! Ah, I mean, this is great, bonding with the youth. Yay!"

Kakashi rolls his eyes. His lips tug up in a fond smile—hidden behind his mask—as he observes the antics of the main members of Team Ro. _ His _ team. People who have become precious to him.

"Maa, don't worry. I'll definitely make sure they don't bully my cute little kohai." His words betray none of his fondness. "Only senpai gets to do that," he adds cheekily.

Tenzou splutters as his face turns red.

"Senpai!" he exclaims, scandalized as Kakashi turns around, throwing a borderline flirtatious wink over his shoulder.

Tenzou sputters and coughs for a few more seconds, struggling to force words out of his mouth before finally squeaking out a, "G-goodbye!" 

Kakashi gives a mock salute before moving to head home, Genma's cackling fading with the distance.

He ignores the glimpse he catches of their worried expressions.

* * *

Kakashi walks into his apartment for what might be the last time for a few months and feels strangely melancholic as he drops his bags on his kitchen counter.

He's never been one for sentimentality, actively avoids it even, but he feels...

Kakashi shakes his head as if to physically loosen the emotions clinging to him. And as if to run from them, his feet carry him to his bathroom. 

His. His and his alone, something he got himself _ for _ himself—a small piece of independence. 

All it does is emphasize what little of himself is actually his. 

He pulls off his vest and shirt on his way to the bathroom, not bothering to pick them up from the floor. The exhaustion of sleepless nights spent worrying pulls at his bones as he thinks of the folder in his bag—his own briefing file.

A large part of him already knows that this is going to end in disaster—how could it _ not _ when you were mixing _ trained killers _ with little pre-heroes?—and an even larger part already knows that it's going to be because of him, that he'll mess up somewhere along the line. 

He looks into the mirror and—he sees_ Rin's giddy laugh and Obito's smug smile as they show Minato-sensei their acceptance letters, ready to start their journey to becoming heroes_. _ Kakashi feels a trickle of warmth_—he shakes his head, and the image disappears. 

He was never supposed to get this mission. 

Desperately, he opens the sink tap and cups his hands under the stream, but stops before he can bring them to his face. Ice slithers down through his veins and his breathing stutters. His hands move apart slowly and he spreads his fingers, the water gliding past them to flow down the drain. (They’re red-red-red he’s killed so many his hands are red-red-red with their ** _blood_**—)

The red covering his skin doesn't so much as ripple. 

He stands there for a while before his brain catches up and processes what he's seeing. 

As if in a trance Kakashi reaches for the bar of soap on the side and he starts to scrub in a familiar mechanical motion. The bar slips out of his grasp and a clatter follows as things knock over, but he doesn't notice. He doesn't notice as his claws unsheath themselves and he ignores the scraping stings as his heart pounds in his ears and his lungs clench inside his chest.

_ It won't wash away. The blood never washes away. _

A second later a hand clamps down on his wrists and wrenches them apart. He reacts on instinct and his foot flies up, striking a warm, firm chest, ready to push to get some distance between them. 

But his strength has left him and he can't do much more except for using his leg to keep the other person at a distance, claws threatening to tear through skin if only he could get his muscles to cooperate.

A voice in the back of his mind tells him he needs to focus to assure his safety, but it only serves in aiding his growing panic.

He's breathing hard and his vision is swimming and he's crumbling into himself—but he doesn't hit the ground. 

The next moment he finds himself against a firm, warm body. A part of himself yearns to crawl closer to get rid of the shivers wracking his frame, and the other part wants to scramble away to get rid of the sting the contact brings, scratch at the painful itch under his skin as his stomach churns. 

There’s a pinching feeling on the side of his neck and a moment later he realizes he can't do either—his limbs won't move. His muddled brain vaguely registers that he's been drugged.

"Calm down. You're going to work yourself up into an attack again. The injection is only a sedative, if you panic it'll burn out."

Kakashi's ears jerk at the familiar voice, picking up the low grumbling of mumbled words as the sound of his pounding heart subsides. He tries to pick up on the person's scent, but everything in his body feels like it's been wired wrong—_ malfunctioning— _and he ends up wheezing as his lungs constrict.

Exhaustion catches up and everything turns blissfully black.

* * *

_ Kakashi looks at the potted plant by his feet and, strangely, thinks of a small bony boy with wide hazel eyes and long brown hair—Kinoe, a child he has only known for a few days...yet there is a familiar ache in his heart as he studies the wilting leaves, as he remembers how the boy clung to him as Kakashi did the same. _

_ There's a loud click, and Kakashi jerks. _

_ His fists tighten over the straps of his backpack as he stands before the threshold of the door. His breath hitches slightly at the unexpected sting on his palms and he immediately loosens his hold, claws slowly retracting. _

_He's not used to them yet, the metal not sitting quite right and coming out when he tenses up too much. He'll have to work on that. _

_Raising his head higher, looking his owner's—his "guardian's"—concerned gaze straight in the eye, he steps into the apartment without allowing himself to hesitate any longer. Hesitation is a sign of his wariness. Wariness means fears—and he cannot allow any weaknesses to show after having just arrived into new territory._

_"W-well." The man—Minato, as he had introduced himself—gives a strained cough. _

_"Welcome to our humble abode, I guess. It's not really much, but it's enough to be comfortable. It's also a nice neighborhood, lots of other kids around your age..." he trails off awkwardly._

_"Our?" Kakashi asks, staring at all the picture frames on the wall to his right, most of which have a recurring red-headed young woman. He hadn't been informed of another permanent presence in the apartment, but what he has gathered from Minato makes it clear that it's not only him living here._

_Nothing about the bright orange curtains or the faded green coach, not to mention the pile of laundry overpowering the basket poorly hidden behind the corner, and piles upon piles of instant ramen point to the man before him, who is immaculate all the way down to his personality. _

_(Though, Kakashi could do without the overbearing kindness.)_

_"Oh...I didn't tell you? Well, I guess it never really came up between all the meetings and test," Kakashi stiffens, "and then the moving between bases and-"_

_(The rambling. He could do without that as well.)_

_Realising what he was doing, Minato stuttered to a stop and scratched the back of his head with a sheepish look._

_"B-but, yes, this is our apartment. Me and a childhood friend have been sharing it. She's a Pro Hero and she's starting her own company from scratch so this is probably just temporary for her..." His cheery smile drops a bit._

_Minato's brows furrow as he seems to go deeper into that thought, his smile gradually fading as he stares at the ground. Kakashi has trouble picturing this haphazard, cheerful person as the fearsome assassin he'd heard about during his stay with the ANBU._

_Minato gives a start. "Oh! We should probably start getting you settled in." And that smile is right back into place._

_Before they can actually move, steps pound up the building's stairs and the apartment door bursts open._

_"Minato!"_

_And in the doorway stands the woman from the picture, violet eyes and hair even more vibrant in real life, bright red hair billowing behind her as if it had life of its own. Her expression flickers into one of confusion as her eyes settle on him, but soon her grin widens as her gaze shines with interest. (She’s like the sun, Kakashi thinks, later. Bright and blazing and _ warm_._)

_Kakashi's instincts scream at him to run, but he only widens his feet and centers his weight in case he has to react quickly. (Why did he know to do that?)_

_"And who's this little fella?" _

_At her question two other heads pop out from behind her, a girl with long brown hair anf two purple stripes on her cheeks and a boy with darker skin and spiky black hair. Noticing Kakashi's battle stance, Minato steps in front of the small boy._

_"This is Kakashi, he'll be staying with us from now on. And Kakashi, this is Kushina, the friend I told you about."_

_She moves to go towards him, but Minato halts her before she can. Her smile only falters for a second before returning full-force again._

_"Hey, Kakashi! It's good to meet you." She steps to the side. "And these two are Rin and Obito, they're from around the neighborhood and they help me with the groceries sometimes."_

_Only then does Kakashi notice the grocery bags both children are clutching onto—with difficulty, judging by their red faces. Figuring that he's been staring for too long, he relaxes his stance a bit and bows._

_"It's nice to meet you all as well."_

_"Oh, a gentleman,” Kushina teases. The dark haired boy, Obito, huffs loudly with an irritated look as the girl with purple markings, Rin, gives a shy, strained smile._

_"Alright, alright. Let's get these into the kitchen," Minato says and relieves the two of their bags, both slump down while shaking their hands to encourage blood flow._

_After awkwardly staring at each other for a good minute, the silence long and drawn-out—Kakashi struggles not to growl as their eyes stay fixed on his ears—Kushina yells from what he assumes is the kitchen._

_"Why don't you two help Kakashi put his things away in Minato's room and then show him around the apartment, ne?"_

_"Alright!" Rin replies, gesturing for Kakashi to follow her with a kind smile. Obito hurries after her, and so Kakashi has no choice but to follow as well._

_"So you're half dog?" Obito asks, hanging onto the stairway banister. Rin whips around with a mortified gasp._

_"You just moved here, right? Where did you come from?" she asks quickly, clearly trying to make up for Obito’s faux paus while she leads them into a room upstairs, glaring at Obito when he tries to speak again._

_Kakashi's mind comes up blank, empty like all the other times he tries to remember something from _ before_, but none of it shows and he replies just as quickly—perhaps a little too quick. "Tokyo."_

_Rin hops onto Minato's bed and doesn't seem to notice. "Wow, really? I hear it's a really lively place."_

_"Yes,” Kakashi replies vaguely. _

_Obito squints his eyes at him while looking at his mask. Kakashi only looks back despite his pulse picking up. Luckily, Obito only shrugs and plops down beside Rin. The conversation shifts dramatically after that._

_Obito makes a comment on a new Hero he saw saving a kitten and both children light up, talking animatedly about heroes and other things Kakashi couldn't be bothered with. _

_He gets bored with it quickly, and decides that he's been polite enough—bowing hello, answering their questions—he leaves while the two gush over Kushina's hero persona._

_Maybe he shouldn't have. _

_ He creeps down the staircase—and then freezes at the sound of voices from downstairs. _

_ "They just found them there, bleeding out in the middle of nowhere," comes a soft whisper. Minato's voice. _

_"That's a little suspicious, going out to investigate reports of suspicious activity only to find two half-dead boys. They found nothing else?" Kushina asks._

_"Nothing, their trail just disappeared. It doesn't help that neither can remember what happened—or anything about themselves for that matter. Only their names, and...the other things they shouldn't know. Things children shouldn't."_

_"Like?"_

_"ANBU, about what we actually do—the spying and assassination—Kinoe, the other boy, even knows the elders by name," Minato heaves a sigh. "Nothing adds up."_

_ Kakashi remembers being confused and disorientated, being asked questions he doesn't know the answers to, being pulled from one place to the other all the while clinging onto another boy he doesn't even remember._

_"_Nothing adds up _ ," Minato repeats. "Not the things they know and not the things they can do…not the scars on their bodies. I...I think they were _ experiments_, Kushina." His voice drops. "I think someone was turning them into _killing machines."

_"How old are they?" Kushina's voice burns with anger._

_"Early teens? It's hard to say, they’re both a little malnourished." Minato sighs again. "Still, they can't keep him at ANBU stations, it's too much of a risk, so they need me to keep an eye on him."_

_Kakashi imagines he can hear a creak of wood—is Kushina gripping the table so hard that it’s _ creaking _ , he wonders. "Kami, what did those poor boys go through?" she asks. _

_ Kakashi looks down at his metal claws, at the tiny scars around them like dozens of little bird’s feet, and wonders the exact same thing_.

* * *

He starts awake with a muted gasp, entire body tensing as his hands shake with flashes of memories, of laughter in a small kitchen and pillow fights in a bedroom that had still felt like his.

His hands shake. Until a hand settles on his shoulder and they pause in shock.

"You had me worried there for a second, rival."

Kakashi peeks over the fluffy blanket thrown over him and he meets dark brown eyes. Tilting his head to look past the wide smile aimed at him, he studies the old analog clock in the corner that he had picked up at a yard sale a few years ago.

3 AM.

"It's late," he says, glad for the way his voice stays neutral. "What are you doing here?"

"I haven't seen you in a while, I thought I'd come pop in and do a challenge or two. You weren't answering the door, but I heard the water running..." Gai’s brow furrows as he trails off. "Lucky I had those sedatives with me," he mumbles under his breath.

_Damn_, Kakashi sighs inwardly.

Sensing the danger up ahead, he's quick to change the subject, not ready to face what happened yet—not entirely sure what happened after things got blurry. His eyes land on the box on his night stand.

"Oh!" Gai exclaims, smile returning full force. "I ran into the mailman on my way up, a very nice boy." Kakashi doubted it, given Mizuki's personality. "But he looked exhausted, so I offered to deliver the remaining mail for him!" 

"Of course you did," Kakashi whispers hoarsely behind the blanket covering his face, wincing at Gai's volume. He’s not surprised in the least. Gai was a kindhearted man, always ready to lend a hand—though, Kakashi has a suspicion that it has more to do with gnawing guilt. 

Everyone copes with being ANBU in their own way, and if Gai wants to level good deeds with bad ones? He's seen far worse ways of dealing with guilt.

He reaches for the small box and picks it up. His heart clenches at the orange cat sticker on the side—Obito's monthly delivery of books. With open care he shows so rarely he lowers it onto his lap, but he catches himself before he can open it. Or, rather, he catches Gai shifting out of the corner of his eye. 

This is something private. This is something only for _ him. _

The box gets placed back where it was.

If Gai is surprised he doesn’t show it. Instead, he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope.

"This one's for you, as well."

The letter is waved a few times in Kakashi's face before Gai sets it down, placing it directly in his hands. Kakashi glances at it and his heart sinks. Resolutely, he shoves it into his drawer without making it seem as panicked as he feels.

"I couldn't help but notice," Gai begins. "...UA?"

Kakashi doesn't answer as he stands up and walks to his dresser. Gai, the respectful man he is, turns away.

"_Come on _. You can't just leave your dear intrigued rival hanging. A prestigious Hero school contacting you is no small matter, right?" Gai pleads.

Kakashi pretends to mull it over as he reaches for the drawer containing his masks. He stops abruptly and looks at his hands.

"You’re going to teach there, aren't you!" Gai cheers.

His palms and fingers are carefully bandaged in thick white gauze, not even the tip of his claws peaking through. _ How did I not notice this? _

"This is going to be so good for you!"

"...What?" Kakashi jerks.

Gai had been there when he had been at his worst, had bore witnesses to the things he had to do (and despite Gai himself being ANBU, he didn't have to do half of what Kakashi did). 

Which is why he's having trouble understanding why Gai thinks him being around children is an acceptable thing.

"This will be good for you," Gai says in a milder tone. "Working with children can bring forth healing."

"Working with children can bring forth disaster," Kakashi says, mimicking Gai’s tone.

"Nonsense! Everything will work out fine, you'll see! There's nothing better to reclaim your youthfulness than through the youth themselves."

He can practically smell Gai's optimism, and Kakashi cringes. 

It takes a few seconds before he realizes that it's been silent for too long. He looks back up from where he was staring at his hands. Gai looks at his bare face, not with the usual bright smile that almost stretches too wide, but with something almost mournful in his expression.

"I know that you’re not well, Kakashi. You’ve been struggling with things lately."

Kakashi's expression doesn't change, but he still feels the shame at how bad he's been hiding it sting. Even Sarutobi, a man he only occasionally saw, noticed.

"You need help." There's a flash of ange—"Because you deserve to be happy,"—before it disappears.

This always happens. Gai talks about Kakashi's issues and Kakashi gets angry, because how dare he pick at Kakashi's broken pieces, before the fury fades out into guilt. 

In the end, all Gai wants—all his best friend who has stuck by him through thick and thin has ever wanted for him—is to be happy. He's not blind, as good as Gai knows Kakashi, he knows Gai. 

He knows that Gai deserves better—him, Obito, his team. _ Naruto _. They all deserved better than him. 

This always happens and it always ends in shame and-

Gai always knows that too.

He always moves closer, puts his hand on his shoulder or his arm, and then pulls him in. Just holding him together, if only for a second. 

Though it's never long before his skin would itch with the contact, before he has to pull away.

He was never one for physical affection. Touch always made him extremely uncomfortable...after. He'd had to relearn how to accept contact and give it, as well—at least to those he considered close.

He's had to relearn a lot of things.

Unfortunately, Gai had witnessed it enough that he let him go easily enough. There was always that sad smile, afterwards. Kakashi always turned away so he wouldn't have to see, tugging at his mask so that his clenched jaw wouldn't show. 

"Anyway, I was thinking about having a few drinks, maybe with some friends. Would you like to join me?" Gai asks, although it sounds like he already knows the answer.

"Pass, but thanks," Kakashi answers, back turned towards him. So he wouldn’t have to see, so Gai wouldn’t see _ him_. (Hiding like the coward he was.)

"Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've fallen into Chinese Gay Novel despair...join me.


	8. All My Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All my mistakes are slowly drowning me (So let go)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, I'm still vaguely aliiive...
> 
> Is everyone doing...I'd say great but that would be reaching to high, so, marginally okay?
> 
> Anyway, I've been going through my previous chapters fixing some things aaaand WOW, mistakes were made. I found GROSS inconsistencies that I didn't fix before posting (or I changed my mind after posting and forgot that I already posted it) and *sobs* a commenter warned me this could happen.
> 
> It's kinda big, but was only mentioned once so I'm hoping the most of you for forgot about it. If you are confused, feel free to ask me, I wouldn't blame you.
> 
> *sigh* Here, have this chapter that absolutely hated me.

**Previously:** _ Kakashi gets assigned to UA with his team, he lets his team know in vauge terms, and then goes home and has a panic attack about it. Luckily Gai is close by with a tranquilizer in hand. They talk, Kakashi feels guilty...You know, the usual._

* * *

It's cold.

The wind howls an agonizing cry, the trees bowing to its rage as long blades of grass dance wildly in its hold, and...it's cold.

Frost drags itself up broken window panes, wedging frozen fingers between rotten planks of wood and concrete and torn paper doors. 

Delighted laughter whispers through creaking corridors, rumbles at the door hanging off of it's hinges like a beckoning call, crackles like lightning in the dead of night.

A wolf lies within those crumbling walls, massive and imposing, with snapping jaws and pacing paws and _ snarls _ echoing in the empty halls—and then it flickers, morphing, turning into something much smaller. And then the beast is nothing more than a stumbling cub, with folded ears and wide eyes, shivering and howling feebly with the wind and-

** _This used to be a home_** **.**

The image blurs and dissolves, and the snow turns to _ fire_. The old traditional Japanese house turns into a small apartment—strange and unfamiliar, but maybe it could be _ home _ one day—shifts into a looming building, dark and foreboding, smothered in soot. 

The world burns and voices scream as smoke blankets the sky. They beg as the stars are snuffed out, as the sun falters in the smog, burning red and dim, and the inferno battles with itself (dying). As the moon turns red. (_ Dying) _

A howl pierces through the hurricane of voices—deep and thundering, frail and trembling—and the ground starts to shake and everything _ shatters- _

A loud thump followed by a crash echoes in the confines of Kakashi's apartment. 

Something falls on top of him and he flinches violently, banging his head against the floor. His vision sways while he grabs for the object, a _ rip _ following the action before he feels soft feathers sink between his fingers. 

He groans in tandem with the floorboards beneath him as he turns onto his back and throws his no doubt shredded pillow to the side, his left shoulder and hip throbbing with a dull ache from the short fall from his bed. Shivering as he recalls bits and pieces of his dream, Kakashi curses himself for accidentally falling asleep. Usually he avoids sleeping so early after an attack, but it seems that Gai's sedative was still running through his system.

After lying on the floor in the dark for a few more minutes, calming his breathing, he latches onto the frame of his bed and heaves himself up onto his mattress. Blindly, he feels around the mess of blankets—not ready to open his eyes and see ghosts staring back—until he encounters the rustle of paper under his fingers. He drags a book out from the other side of the bed and- a sigh escapes his lips at the feel of bent and crumbled pages. His ears flatten in annoyance.

_ Not even a day and I've already ruined Obito's gift. _

Tossing the book towards his nightstand he stands up and makes to walk to the bathroom for a much needed wash—when there comes a crack from beneath his paw. Kakashi's shoulders slump down further. He just stands there for a while, breathing against the buzzing under his skin_— _ something close to _ rage_. Carefully he lifts his leg and, reluctantly, his right eye squints open to look down—his vision blurs at the edges as he struggles to focus. 

Of course, it's the clock—which had _ somehow _ been knocked from the wall.

_ I must have fallen harder than I thought. _

He bends down, paw still suspended in the air, and looks at the clock, frozen at 4:47, before picking the old stained thing up—or he tries to. With fingers bandaged to the point of resembling swollen dumplings—courtesy of Gai (and doesn't that make his heart hurt)—the clock slips and clatters to the floor again. (He pretends that it isn't because of the jerking twitches that come after the nightmares, as if his body is desperate to move even if it's far too late.)

Silence rings in the apartment until it's broken by a drawn out, heavy sigh_—_the buzzing gets worse but the anger is different now (disgust). Kakashi stares at the pieces of glass scattered around the occasional feather and contemplates if picking them up now is worth his frustration. 

The answer ends up being a strong no. 

Disregarding the pieces of glass he can feel in his fur and a few stray feathers clinging to his sweat, he heads to his bathtub without switching on the lights and uses muscle memory to turn on the water and set it to boiling—his limbs still tremble as ice and fire flush down them in phantom pain—in an attempt to relax his muscles. 

Still shrouded in darkness, he divests himself of his sweat-soaked clothes and climbs into the tub while clenching his teeth against a hiss at the heat. 

He doesn't stay there for more than a few minutes.

The twitching gets worse as his mind is left to wander, and his bath-time ends up being an exercise in patience. While unwinding his bandages he accidentally rips a strip off and tears a few newly formed scabs off his fingers. _ Red trails down his palms _ and plinks into the tub. A rhythmic sound echoing the pound of the heart in his chest.

After that time blurs and the next thing he notices is that he’s clean and dry and in a tank top and pair of sweatpants. The pieces of glass have made their way into his paw, but his hands are bandaged—sloppily—and he's no longer in, or near his apartment. 

He's standing in front of Jiraiya's house. It's still dark out, but the lights are already on.

Another blur and he's inside walking up the steps to the second floor. Jiraiya, who's sitting on the living room couch with a half-empty bottle of sake, looks at him, and then his hands, in sympathy, understanding—_pity_, a part of him sneers, but the anger is fleeting. 

Kakashi doesn't say a word, and neither does Jiraiya. After a moment, he returns back to scribbling on his notebook—what must be another filthy book in progress—back turned to Kakashi.

That was as good as his approval. 

It feels like mere moments pass between him leaving his apartment bathroom to him standing in the doorway of Naruto's room. 

Before Kakashi can fully register exactly what he's doing, he’s already silently padding to the bed behind the small snoring lump of twisted orange blankets and piled pillows. Without hesitating he lies down.

Seconds later he struggles not to jerk in surprise at himself, at how rationality has taken a back seat while insanity takes the wheel. 

Why else would he act this way, running out to the streets before the sun has started peeking up, to shamelessly cuddle up to Naruto, a _ child_, in a bid for...what, comfort? Nonsense. He's an adult—a cold-blooded _ killer_—and he's being irrational.

He doesn't leave.

No matter how much he tries to paint this as irrationality and illogicality, it feels ** _right_ ** and his body just won't move_. _ He isn't trembling anymore, his mind has settled and that _ thing _ inside himself isn't struggling beneath the surface of his control. For the first time since waking up his eyes focus and he can see what's in front of him. 

Naruto grumbles out something about vegetables, fox ears twitching madly as he pouts, before he turns—right into Kakashi's chest. He curls up and nuzzles into his thin tank top before letting out a content sigh, oblivious to the way Kakashi's muscles tense in an effort to resemble a stone statue.

The kit snuffles loudly while his little face pulls into a deep scowl as he clutches onto the blankets, and for all that Kakashi's an infamous assassin, his icy heart still makes a valiant effort at melting. (And, unconsciously, he sinks deeper into the mattress and bends his body around the little of his hope that's left.)

A deep sense of satisfaction thrums through him, and before he can catch himself—_again_—a soft _ chuff _ escapes his lips. Unconsciously, Naruto slurs out a raspy _ yip _ in response, smothering his little face into his chest, and soon he settles into his previous soft peaceful snoring. 

Kakashi moves his arms to encase his little pup and doesn't expect to fall asleep again—no dreams follow him this time, only the sound of unfamiliar (_familiar_) rumbling laughter...and thunder in the distance.

.

.

.

It's two hours later when he silently slips out of the front door just as Naruto begins to stir.

* * *

It's approaching midday when Kakashi finds himself with nothing else left to do.

Since coming back from Jiraiya's he'd done anything and everything he could think of to occupy himself. He'd even gotten to rearranging The Closet, which he had been putting off for months. (He'd spent a fair amount of time rediscovering things he thought he'd lost, like his black dagger and a western cookbook he'd picked up on an international mission.)

(He had flipped through the recipes up until his stomach had tightened painfully, but despite the fact that it had been over 24 hours since his last meal, it wasn't because of hunger. He had long since lost real _ enjoyment _ in food—a downright horrific undercover mission involving cannibalism had made sure of that—and even if he could say that some things tasted good, it was just a source of sustenance now.

But just because _eating_ had become a chore, it didn't mean that he didn't mind _making food_ when he was in the mood_—_after all, cooking was just another science, and he happened to be pretty good in that field_. _(Cooking your own food also had the added benefit of knowing exactly what's in it.) 

Kakashi groans and, reluctantly, puts down the knife he had been sharpening for way too long to glare at the reason for why his apartment is spotless.

The bold letters of "UA" stare back at him from the envelope on his kitchen counter. 

He huffs, fur spiking up in agitation, annoyed with himself for acting like he's avoiding a _ villain _ when it's a _ piece of paper_. He's an adult for kami's sake, a prodigy, an ANBU legend...and like Minato-sensei once said: " _ In everything there is an opportunity to learn, to grow. Even in failure. Even if you keep on failing." _

And like Kushina chimed in: _ "You know, the dumb blonde has a point. Never ever stop trying!" _

Kakashi laughs bitterly, canines snapping harshly as he clenches his jaw.

(But Isn't that the very definition of insanity? Trying again and again and again in search of different results...even as nothing changes?)

Regardless of his internal battle, frustration wins out over hesitation. With swift movements he stands up and walks towards the source of his turmoil, paws thumping on the hardwood floor in his anger, and snatches the letter up in almost fully healed hands. He tears the envelope open and plops down on his coach.

His eyes move over the letter, taking in every little detail from the context of the words to how the letter's curve to the right—handwritten, no doubt a precaution to minimize electronic evidence. 

The contents are simple: He has been chosen to "aid the country in protecting its future" under the position of a combat instructor for UA's hero course. There will be a meeting held in five days' time, a Sunday evening, in which the details of his work there and his housing will be discussed. Well, four days' time now.

They're supposed to meet up at a nearby park (all but abandoned, from what he's seen) with anything essential they think they may need and can carry. (So, no major weaponry, he takes it.) Two Pro-heroes, teachers, would come and collect them. They were to act as their persona stated. This was the start of their mission.

Kakashi feels silly as he rereads the letter, but knows that the words were never what he was afraid of. Because he is. He's terrified. Him opening this letter was the situation settling into reality, him sealing his fate. He's going to have to work with children, he's going to have to teach them, protect them.

Kakashi hurts because he's good at it. He's _ good _ at finding weaknesses and exploiting them, tearing and twisting at it to suit his needs—because he has never been good at protecting, no matter how hard he's tried.

He leans back into the couch and throws an arm over his eyes. He lets out a gruff wry laugh and struggles to not let it descend into hysteric giggles. The paper crinkles as his fist closes around it.

It's an old game being replayed. 

How many times is he going to have to fail until they start realising that he's an attack dog, just as liable to tear down a friend than an enemy.

The Director should have never chosen to give the Pros his profile. Had it been in some misguided attempt to give him...To give him what? What exactly is teaching children going to give him besides more guilt? His 'youth', like Gai said? Well, Kakashi never really had much youth to begin with. Death clung too close for that.

Kakashi stills as Rin flashes through his mind—sweet, innocent, _kind_ Rin whose cheeks dimpled when she smiled wide and open with slightly crooked teeth she was so self-conscious about. Who never shied away from him and his anger, who always stepped into his and Obito's petty fights, who kept them together like _glue_ _until_—and phantom pains shoot down his limbs, tensing to the point where his claws are springing out because of the sudden contraction. 

His eyes burn (everything _ burns _ ) and his throat aches and his head feels too small for the rush of fear, anger, guilt, regret, regret _ regret_—He doesn't know for how long he sits there, eyes clenched shut, as stiff as a board while his nerves scream. He sucks in a breath of air when his lungs start to spasm and forces himself to hold it despite the wails in his ears, trying to get his heart rate to come down to stop the blood rushing through them. His skin burns and tightens even though he knows there won't be so much as a finger width of scarring—Tsunade was known for her miracles after all, and even third-degree burns were nothing in the face of her healing quirk. (It shouldn't have been _ him _ she was helping.)

Air rushes past his lips until he forces another breath in and holds it—he struggles not to cough at smoke that isn't there—and repeats the action. Oh so gradually his muscles loosen from where they bunched up as the burning starts to ease.

It doesn't take much longer until he's sprawled on the couch, exhaustion settling into every inch of his being, drenched in a new layer of sweat and gasping to properly fill his lungs while wondering what the fuck is happening to him.

He knows something is wrong.

Clarity is so often fleeting but Kakashi always finds it _ after_. After the panic, after the turmoil. (and usually after a monumental amount of physical pain.)

(Always _ too late. _)

He's been irrational lately, quick to overthink and even quicker to panic. He's been crushing himself under the weight of things that haven't even happened yet.

It hadn’t always been like this, but the fact of the matter is that grief is an ugly thing, consuming you to the point where the thought of losing anyone else could kill you. Despite pushing his precious people away to keep them safe, he still clings to their existence with a fear that, quite frankly, scares him.

Caring is dangerous and he can barely handle having emotional attachments to the people he does now—he can't always check up on them all, and not knowing has always tested the bounds of Kakashi's mental stability.

(The strain of Obito's absence has, evidently, long since gotten to him.)

But these are _ children _ he is going to have to practically look after, and no matter if he formed a liking to them or not, they're kids. They can't protect themselves yet, Kakashi is going to have to do that until they can do it themselves.

He can't even think of failing if he wants to live with himself. (Rin would never forgive him)

So...so he just won't. 

He'll do better. 

He'll save them like he couldn't save Rin, couldn't save Minato and Kushina. 

He'll change, it'll be different this time. (He's grown up and seen how the world really works, so he'll have to be different, _ right? _)

He'll be better.

With that in mind he takes out the folder the Director gave him with an urgency he recognizes and hates, and starts going through his cover story.

* * *

Kakashi walks through thick, long blades of grass and knows that this is a dream.

It's a...weird feeling. Nothing is real. There is no sound of twigs crunching beneath his paws, no feel of the cool wind brushing along his hair and no smell of a passing storm. Yet he knows—an instinctive certainty that always leaves him fascinated after waking up.

(And for all that he hates dreaming he doesn't hate this. Here, where everything is blurry with clarity, here where he knows is far from reality and it's troubles—here where no ghosts have ever plagued his nights, where his body moves mindlessly with the scene around him, completely out of his control. And here it's ok—within the confines of a lucid dream.)

Kakashi stretches out his arms as he starts to pick up his pace, running through the grass field while his hands brush through the tall grass.

When the sight of a big traditional house in front of a forest comes into view Kakashi's feels a warmth well up inside his chest—both foreign and not.

The warmth comes with a rush of joy that leaves Kakashi soaring, high on how his entire being lightens, on the way that his mind chants _ safety _ and his heart sings _ love _ . It comes with such conviction that it leaves Kakashi confused more often than not—but like always the feeling dwindles because he lets it, because he's had this dream countless times since he was a boy and never could he figure out why it made him so... _ happy _.

After a long while he realized that happiness was a fleeting thing and that maybe he could just _ have this_. Just this small thing. 

So he stopped questioning it—even after Rin and sensei's death, he didn't punish himself here, he couldn't (even if he deserved it). Acceptance was so strong in the air that his guilt couldn't seem to follow him to this dream. _ Never _ this dream.

He runs faster, pushing his muscles until he feels a pleasant burn in his thighs—or what he assumes is a pleasant burn—and his paws are mutedly pounding into the dirt; as he throws his head back and closes his eyes. And he _ laughs_.

It's loud and unrestrained and it amplifies in the clearing, like the wind is laughing with him. He _ swears _ he can actually hear it.

The urge to scream crawls up his throat. The urge to howl into the rows upon rows of trees surrounding him just to hear them howl back in echo.

He doesn't.

Instead, his limbs lead him up to the old house in front of him. With an ease that speaks of familiarity he pads through the open door and silently navigates his way through the halls, his paws taking him past rows of different rooms holding different things until he stops in front of a closed door.

He usually ends up here eventually.

Like he has done many times before he reaches for the door but, like always, his hand stops midair and doesn't go any further. He hovers there for a while with a feeling of uncertainty and apprehension gnawing at him—feelings so out of place from the wild, uncaring freedom of before.

Also another weird thing he doesn't understand. It isn't necessarily a bad feeling—it's not like he's afraid, just...unsure and confused. There must be something important behind the door, otherwise he wouldn't come here so often. He just doesn't understand why dream-him won't open it, why he hesitates until the dream ends.

But unlike the other times, he doesn't wake up.

He moves, body feeling heavy again, and places his forehead to the door...He feels like he's missing something important.

"Are you ready yet? Do you want it bad enough?"

Kakashi's head snaps to the side—and his control of his body seems to snap back as well, given how he immediately reaches for a gun he doesn't remember having before.

His eyes land on two dogs- no, wolves. One a pitch black, sitting serenely with the air of a predator while the other, cloudy grey, paces side to side with eyes that reach into his soul.

"Are you ready yet?" Comes a voice from the grey wolf.

"Do you want it bad enough?" Comes a voice from the black wolf.

All he does is stare, gun lowered to his side.

Another moment passes and he's outside again, this time at the back of the house where the forest is closest. A second after he notices that he's walking towards the tree-line he registers each wolf pressed to his side.

...They don't feel dangerous.

They come to the edge of the forest and fear hits him like a train_—_he's never thought to go anywhere near the forrest and he thinks this might've been why. _ Every inch _ of him wants to bolt. He staggers to a stop, the black wolf at his left the only thing that keeps him from falling.

The air feels too thick and his chest tightens. A hard shove draws his attention back to the wolves. He digs in his heals on instinct, body refusing to go any closer to what's waiting for him beyond the trees.

The wolves huff in irritation.

"Come now," the black wolf chides. "You've already taken the first step, we can't let you give up now, not when you haven't even started."

Another rough nudge on his other side and he's forced to take a step forward to keep balance.

"It's alright pup. One step at a time, as long as you're walking," says the grey wolf softly.

He looks up into the forest again, with obvious hesitation.

The black wolf walks in front of him. "There is something here that shouldn't be. Aren't you curious?"

He stares into the (completely normal looking) trees and takes another breath, his muscles relaxing a fraction. He still feels deeply confused and concerned but, Kakashi muses as he starts to walk, _ this feels important _.

"No matter what, just keep walking."

The forest floor is littered with sakura blossoms.

* * *

Kakashi arrives at the secluded park the same moment he sees Genma walk up past the street light to his left.

Like he himself, the man is casually dressed in what could pass off as interview clothes_— _ Genma in slacks and a button up with the sleeves rolled to his upper forearms while Kakashi chose skinny jeans instead_—_fitted to his body. A glimpse of black underneath his hem tells Kakashi that he hasn't foregone his ANBU armour either.

What tells him that it's Genma, though, isn't the clothes or the two duffle bags over each shoulder. He knows it's Genma and that the figure now approaching across from him is Tenzou, dressed like Genma but with a tie, because they've all stopped taking their scent blockers (mandatory for missions as precautions against trackers), since they can't resupply themselves at HQ.

It's...going to take getting used to. He's spent half of his life around agents who don't smell like _ anything_, not even sweat, his team included. 

Of course, the pills only last about 48 hours and missions do go wrong more often then he'd like, so he's already encountered all of his team's scents before, but that's usually in battle or dangerous territory where the only thing they're thinking is _ survive_.

What many people don't realise, though, is that with a strong enough nose, you can pick up emotional chemical markers_—_basically smelling what people are feeling. He's used to it by now, the mask certainly helps to block it all out in public, but he's never really had the time to analyze a teammates scent, and...and It's pretty weird knowing that Genma is absolutely pissed even though his brain can't put Genma and anger together _ at all_.

Kakashi stops under a big tree with a broken swing and lowers his own two duffle bags to the ground. Soon enough, both Tenzou and Genma gather around him and lowers theirs as well, Genma's a tiny bit harder than necessary, but maybe Kakashi's reading too much into it seeing as his usual grin doesn't so much as twitch.

Kakashi must stare at Genma a bit too long, because he raises a questioning eyebrow while his grin shows a bit too much teeth around his senbon. He quickly looks away. And promptly finds another issue.

"Tenzou?"

Tenzou looks at Kakashi, confused by his strained tone, before following his incredulous gaze to the ground.

"What's wrong with my bag?" Tenzou asks defensively.

Kakashi looks at his kouhai incredulously. He points at his own two decently sized duffle bags, then at Genma's equally well sized bags, and then at Tenzou's one(1) backpack.

A school backpack, a mix of greens, browns and blues, with _ cartoon flowers _ on...and insects if Kakashi is looking at what could be a giant hornet right_—_wildly out of proportion and blatantly anatomically incorrect. He'd say it was cute if he didn't know what the fuckers were capable of, instead it looks like a safety hazard designed to trick kids into thinking dangerous insects were adorable and... _ innocent_. 

"What's wrong with it?" Exclaims Tenzou, face bright red.

Kakashi scoffs, tucking his <strike>fear </strike>_musings_ away, and aims to point out the more pressing problem: "How on earth did you fit all your things in there? You couldn't take something a little bigger?"

"And, well...a little less girly?" Genma chimes in, grimacing at the rose patterns.

"Firstly, everything fit fine, and secondly, there is _ nothing wrong with liking flowers, _ even if you're a boy," Tenzou mutters the last part, eyes casted down with his mouth set in a hard line.

Kakashi and Genma look at each other, worried and a little guilty.

"Listen, Tenz," Genma steps forward while scratching at the back of his head, "ah, that was uncalled for. I'm sorry. And I know there's nothing wrong with you liking flowers _ because there isn't, _" Genma stresses when Tenzou starts to deflate. "...It's just that kids might not realise that, and they can get pretty mean."

Tenzou lifts his head and reveals the scowl on his face. "I might be the youngest on the team, but I'm just as much an elite operative as the rest of you. I can handle a little _ gossip._"

_ Oh, poor naive Tenzou_.

Genma visibly winces, most likely just as aware as Kakashi that for all that Tenzou is ANBU, he _ is _ still a 16 year old, and all the more self conscious because of it. That and the boy has never experienced going to school and the absolute joy of carefree children, particularly their frankly unnecessary_—_viscous_—_bluntness. (Naruto is a cute and fairly agreable child, but Kakashi's experienced his own fair share of blows to his ego.)

Although, the children they'll be working with are going to be teens, around Tenzou's age...So it's a 50/50 chance he'll either be accepted or shunned, they've had worse odds.

"Right," Genma says, putting his acting skills to good use. "I'm being a complete asshole, forgive me?"

Tenzou huffs, but gives Genma a small, genuine smile nonetheless. 

Silence settles around them for a long while, until Kakashi starts to feel a little uncomfortable with how Genma's brows turn down with the corner of his lips. He's even more upset now, telling by his bittering scent.

Just as he's about to comment on the weather (and what a poor attempt at distraction that would've been) Shisui appears at the edge of the park_—_no doubt having teleported here seeing as Kakashi couldn't smell him coming_—_and walks up to them with a cheerful greeting (Kakashi sighs his relief).

(And then does a double take)

Shisui comes up to them in their stunned silence, wearing jeans and a band t-shirt, and puts his bags down with a drawn out groan before looking up at them with an excited grin. When he sees them all staring at his bags he looks down as well, letting out a confused hum.

"Shisui-"

Kakashi clamps his hands over Genma's and Tenzou's mouths. "We're not having this conversation again," he says resolutely, still staring at Shisui's five black duffle bags and one backpack_—_all sporting cutesy cat keychains.

(And worrying about Shisui getting bullied doesn't even cross his mind. He could probably walk around UA in a tight neon green jumpsuit with orange leg warmers like Gai and still get everyone to want him as their best friend. He's like a human magnet. Perfect for undercover missions.)

Like the universe agreed that the conversation should end there, a nondescript 4x4 rolls up to them. Everyone tenses, reaching for the weapons they hid on themselves. When a man with ridiculously styled hair steps out with a man in cowboy gear_—_both Pro-heroes he recognizes after searching them up along with the rest of the UA's faculty (Present Mic, Hizashi Yamada, quirk: Voice, English teacher; Snipe, name?, quirk: Homing, teaches?...those are a lot of unknowns he's going to look out for since eh didn't ave the tine to, go digging)_—_they only lower their guards a fraction.

"The name's Snipe, pleasure to make your acquaintance. Looks like everyone is here, let's get moving," says Snipe, interrupting Present Mic before he could even begin opening his mouth_—_straight to the point.

The only blond among them pouts dramatically, then ignores his fellow hero before introducing himself. _ Loudly_.

Shisui hesitates for only a second before he lifts his many bags, walking towards their ride with a big friendly smile. Tenzou is quick to catch up.

Genma and Kakashi take their time assessing the heroes, but they're soon reaching for their bags as well, keeping their team and the other men in sight.

Kakashi flicks his eyes to Genma as he stands up and decides to use the opportunity of them being alone_—_something he's sure they're not going to be for a while.

"...Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

Well, he tried.

After the appropriate introductions, the ride to the school, although only 5 minutes, feels like it should have been 20 instead. It's tense and, well- he'd say unbearably awkward but that wouldn't do his level of overall discomfort justice.

It's cramped with four mostly adults in the backseat_—_Genma's the bulkier of their team, with wide set shoulders and compact muscles, and takes up most of the space with Kakashi (people tend to think of him as a gangly stick, and that's mostly intentional on his part, underestimation and all that, but it's mostly because he prefers his clothes on the looser side when he can get away with it. Point being, overall aversion to food aside, he's an assassin and he's got the physique to prove it.)

Kakashi considered suggesting they throw Tenzou_—_who was still smallish considering his age_—_into the trunk as soon as their little predicament became known. Had Shisui not decided to bring his entire house with him, Kakashi definitely would've. As it was, they had to relocate some bags to the back seat as well, and given that both Kakashi and Genma are fairly tall_—_and Shisui catching up fast_—_legroom was a problem.

But that's not really why Kakashi felt like jumping out of the window. It was a part of it, for sure_—_nothing like sitting shoulder to shoulder, leg touching leg while his skin makes a valiant effort at moving house_—_but that had nothing on the stilted conversation.

Even Shisui couldn't keep conversation running, and Kakashi's half convinced he has a secondary quirk called "small talk" or "smooth talking" or "bullshitting". Something along those lines.

Paired with the way they were all eyeing each other, weariness and suspicion thick in the air, made his head ring with warning bells.

They were in a moving car, which they had no control over, heading through roads they didn't recognize, with limited weapons on their person and their movement heavily restricted. Not an ideal situation.

The way Present Mic randomly called out questions about their jobs and personal lives or made comments in his radio host voice made even his partner at the wheel jump. (It's clear that they thought something was fishy.)

The trip definitely didn't do any favors for his blood pressure.

They were all very glad when UA came into sight.

Seeing another ANBU operative at the gate wasn't what he was expecting, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I've been exploding with plot bunnies these past few weeks...and I'm stuck on something I'm itching to write. But if I begin that, I know I won't finish this nearly as quickly as I want to.
> 
> So...Kakashi and Obito traveling into the Warring States Era, anyone?
> 
> How about Minato deffecting from Konoha with baby aruto and taking Team 7 with him, later coming across Akatsuki?
> 
> Maybe a Familiar AU? With Obito as suffering witch and Kakashi as an annoyingly small, useless familiar WhY couldn't Obito get a strong Yokai like the rest of his family?!?!
> 
> Or, my latest: a Sick Fic where Kakashi is a badass but dyi- extremely sick so Obito needs to take care of- mind his own damn business.


	9. Caught Up In An Overflow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As we get down in the world below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title—Oh Wonder, Lose it.
> 
> 300 Kudos...Just—WOW.
> 
> Despite irregular updates and less than perfect writing, I've received so much support. For a first timer I think that's pretty damn awesome.
> 
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.

_**Previously: **Kakashi has a nightmare and, in his panic, runs to what comforts. To Naruto. (Not that he doesn't shove down his feelings of attachment with a vengeance.) He then avoids the inevitable until a panic attack stops that in it's tracks. Another weird dream ensues._

* * *

Shouta grimaces through a heavy yawn before all but collapsing into his chair, pointedly ignoring the few concerned looks being shot his way.

The last few weeks have worked him down to the bone, and at the rate things were escalating; with the kidnappings, the variations of new drugs surfacing, all of which contained the same base compounds he found in the one he was targeted with. Not that he had the clearance to know that, but information travelled fast in the underground grapevine and with class 1A, _his_ class, at the center of a villain's attention...it had him sorely doubting that he'd feel better any time soon.

"All right, let's begin, shall we?" Nezu says from the head of the table, his voice swiftly silencing the room and gaining the focus of the staff. 

"It's been a few days since you were all briefed on the new protocols being implemented in, not just our school, but all of Japan's prominent hero courses. I know that it was short notice, bringing on such a drastic change, but we work with what the government gives us, Plus Ultra style."

The room erupts in hushed chuckles and murmurs.

"I believe you've had enough time to think about the change in circumstances. We have about an hour until our new staff arrive, so if you have any concerns, or other matters you want to bring to our attention concerning the coming changes, now is the time."

Midnight shifts forward, her lips parting around what is sure to be a litany of questions, but she hesitates, shooting an unreadable look Shouta's way. A second later she settles back into her chair. 

Her perfectly trimmed brows furrow as she scrutinizes Nezu, clearly unsure about something. The silence thickens while everyone side-eyes each other, but no one stands to speak. 

Shouta feels a sliver of tension slide from his aching shoulders all the while a little voice at the back of his head says:  _ too easy _ . No one was looking too close or questioning Nezu or the government's motives — no matter that some of them clearly wanted to. 

Everyone knows that there is something else going on.

First, Pro-heroes were going missing, seemingly at random, some returning as if nothing happened and others not returning at all.

Second, around a month later, there were rising reports of missing children starting to trickle in. Some returning, some not.

And now, out of nowhere, UA and a bunch of other hero schools are being sent instructors from the government.

It isn't hard to make a connection.

But they don't know everything. 

Rising reports in  _ missing cases _ (not even 'kidnappings', there's never enough evidence for that) isn't enough cause alone to put the students under UA housing in Alliance Heights with the government keeping an extra eye on them.

No, they don't know about the drugs driving Heroes to their base desires, and how the targets aren't just the mutants anymore.

They don't know that Heroes and children are coming back different,  _ changed _ ,  _ stripped _ of their  _ quirk _ .

(And isn't that terrifying, knowing that there is someone out there who can take away everything that gives you an advantage, power, and never give it back.)

Of course, he suspects that he doesn't know it all either, seeing as most of his information comes from his informants.

...It's not a comforting thought.

Obviously, everything has to stay under wraps. Though, even if  _ he _ didn't think telling the faculty would pose much of a risk, it wasn't his place to decide, not his or Nezu's or even All Might's. The situation is out of their hands now, their job as teachers is to focus on UA; the students and their protection. 

He might not entirely trust ANBU as a whole—they were far too secretive for his liking, but they were a big part of Japan (he's run into enough of them to know that much) and, ultimately, here to help the children. With them here, Shouta didn't feel pressed to inform the other staff, considering the extra protection. (Unless the situation called for it —there will always be exceptions for Shouta.) 

The information was Need To Know, after all _ — _ and if whoever was behind the drugs and kidnappings went after one of their children, well, then they'd need to know. He'd deal with the resulting red tape later.

Besides, it wasn't like Nezu, him, or All Might were hiding anything they didn't  _ explicitly _ have to _ — _ by now all the staff knew security was being tightened, though Shouta suspected that everyone linked it to the USJ attack.

Shouta's arms twinge at the thought of the giant black monster who batted him around like a fly, only a mere few months ago.

"Very well," Nezu smiles. "Let's go over some readjustments on our yearly schedules, shall we? This mainly concerns our trips outside the school and the adjustments we'll have to make-" 

Things moved along slowly after the budget was brought up. Only when evening rolled around did Nezu close the topic of classes getting new schedules, being rearranged and merged before he starts to hand out papers — all the new protocols they had just discussed on a hard copy.

"All right, we have a few minutes until they arrive," he mutters while climbing back into his seat, louder he says "you are all to treat the new combat instructors as you would treat the rest of our lovely faculty, and I have no doubt that you'll give them all a warm Plus Ultra welcome."

Shouta struggles not to roll his eyes.

"We'll introduce everyone soon and then move on to go over their role and placement, make sure we're all on the same page. Once again, everyone is alright with them joining in on your classes?"

Heads shake in agreement, if a little hesitantly. Shouta can't fault them; they've never seen any teacher actually  _ attending _ any class with their students besides their own , and after  Nezu announced it a few minutes ago  they all eyed Shouta uneasily. (He spent a few seconds on debating  _ why _ until he chalked it up to one of those so cial things he doesn't understand or care to.) They let it go easily enough.

(Again, too easy, but Shouta has a lurking suspicion that he'll be bombarded with questions as soon as Midnight gets him alone.)

"As long as they don't disrupt class, there won't be a problem," Vlad King says.

"Well then, if there  _ are _ any problems, please don't hesitate to alert me so that we can find a solution," Nezu replies.

Silence envelopes them, a more comfortable one than the previous, as each of the faculty sort through their papers, taking in the changes to their school. 

Shouta glances around the room over his own stack of papers, making sure that there aren't any sour faces that would cause trouble with the ANBU, and catches 13 looking at him. Or his general direction considering her helmet, but  _ also _ considering the fact that he was sitting on the edge of the conference table, and Hizashi's seat beside him is empty...

"Would you like to ask something?" Shouta inquires calmly.

"You've been quiet," 13 replies, head cocking to the side.

Shouta hums while he lets his lips quirk up slightly, reassuringly. 

He registers sharp movement out of the corner of his eye and catches Midnight leering at him, eyes whipping comically between him and 13. His expression goes deliberately deadpan as she opens her mouth, Shouta one hundred percent sure that nonsense is going to spew out of it (she's long since found out about him and Hizashi, and she knows not to go spilling about their _very private_ relationship) but before she can shout out anything inappropriate the door swings open.

As usual, Present Mic walks in with a flourish, voice booming unnecessarily in the room, with a wide grin and a flurry of hand motions. Shouta's gaze would've slid right over him with a practiced disinterest, like usual, if he didn't catch the way Hizashi's brows were jumping behind his shades — something he only did when nervous or uncomfortable.

In terms of appearance Snipe paints an entirely different picture. He walks into the room at a brisk pace, long strides, shoulders slowly lowering from where they're hunched near his ears — the picture of relief.

Everyone stands to welcome the new arrivals, but more so in concern for their fellow teachers.

_ It must've been one hell of an awkward ride _ , Shouta thinks, amused.

Shouta catches Vlad leaning closer to Hound Dog, whispering a "Play nice," when a small growl crawls up his throat. Everyone immediately tenses at the sound and Shouta's amusement vanishes. 

For all that the majority of Hound Dog is- well,  _ dog _ , he isn't an animal barking at the slightest whiff of a newcomer. Hound Dog only slips into instinct when something sets him off; when he gets emotional, when his students are in danger. When he's gearing up for a fight.

That's why they're all more than wary when he sets his shoulders and pushes his seat back a bit, all without his eyes leaving the door, because Hound Dog doesn't growl for no reason, not when it's not aimed to be playful or frustrated or threatening, and that growl was a clear warning.

More pairs of footsteps echo from the hall and Shouta follows Hound Dog's gaze.

The situation loses a bit of its gravity as soon as his eyes settle on the newcomers.

_ This better not be a territorial dispute. _

A group of five people walk into the room and, at its lead, a tall man with pale skin, dark grey eyes, silver hair and an animal-mutant type quirk — with canine legs, a tail and long fluffy ears. There's a strong possibility that he also has claws, but the pockets his hands are tucked in hide them if they're there. The man's eyes curve up, noticing his scrutiny, giving the impression of a smile while a medical mask covers the lower half of his face. 

Very little of his skin is visible, but despite the drastic change in appearance; the slump in his posture, the tilt of his head, the lazy curve of his eyes — apathetic, indifferent — Shouta recognizes him almost immediately from the meeting they attended a few months ago. Though, if he hadn't studied the man so intently, intrigued by the calculating glint in his eye, he wouldn't have been able to pick him out of a line-up.

Instead of being impressed he grows concerned, remembering Mic and Snipe's discomfort, Hound Dog's growl, the way all the ANBU at that meeting with the top Heroes and government had blank, emotionless faces...

He hadn’t liked this plan to begin with, but Nezu assured him that, although they knew very little of ANBU, they were their best bet of fighting off the unknown that was approaching. He trusted Nezu's judgement, agreed that the ANBU posed little threat in terms of protection, but the glimpses he'd caught of ANBU through the years painted the picture of soldiers. 

They might not be a threat to safety, but what of mentality? 

"Welcome, welcome!" Nezu exclaims, "Please, let's all sit and introduce ourselves."

Shouta scrutinizes the man with long brown hair, a toothpick sitting still between his grinning teeth, he scrutinizes the young man with unruly black curls and a crooked, cheeky smirk. The...the  _ boy _ with his long brown strands in a bun and a shy upturn at the corners of his lips, the woman with long dark hair and a cheery smile.

He scrutinises the silver haired man that steps forward. 

"Inoue Kakashi, it's a pleasure to meet you all."

  
  


UA has no place for vacant eyes.

* * *

Shouta leans back against his chair as everyone filters out of the room. The meeting was officially over after an hour of introductions, talking through schedules, upcoming events and getting to know each other.

_ Their personas are flawless. _

Shouta spent the entire time Nezu was closing the meeting going over their cover stories, turning them over in his mind, picking at what's real and what's not and, ultimately, differentiated very little.

There's a good chance that the names are their own, most likely with some small changes here and there. They gave adequate explanations on each of their own quirks, but after a few minutes Shouta realised that, while they were given a good understanding, they were also given the bare basics — enough for it to be believable, but not enough for the rest of them to think on the specifics.

Shouta glances at their new staff, still seated and talking amongst themselves — friendly conversation about class and what they plan on doing — before settling his eyes on Nezu approaching.

"Here are your schedules for the classes, upcoming demonstrations and events we hold. In the bundle is a map of the school grounds, as well as any relevant information on them," Nezu says, gesturing to the folders laid out near the door with a knowing smile. "Your folder will be marked by the class that you are teaching."

"Anything to ask or add?" Nezu asks after a small stretch of silence.

All of them shake their heads.

Nezu hums before turning to the small case on the table. "In here are all of your keyscards, the locations include your place of residence, the filling room where we keep our student records and all the training grounds."

Nezu opens the case and takes one keycard out. "This particular keycard will give you access to our security wing." He smiles wryly at their surprised faces ( _ fake? _ Aizawa wonders, looking at them). "I figured that you'd all want to do some...exploring. Why not make it a bit easier on our property?"

Nezu puts the key back, closes the case and takes it. He hops down to the floor, making a beeline to the door. "Well then, if you will Aizawa-sensei?"

Shouta feels his skin prickle as all five sets of eyes focus on him. He ignores his discomfort and stands, heading towards Nezu and taking the case.

"I'll be giving you a quick tour of our school before showing you to your residence," Shouta says between a yawn, following Nezu to the door.

He sees the ANBU agents nod respectfully out of the corner of his eye before getting up to follow him.

The silver-haired man stays at the back of the group while the man with the toothpick takes the front.

_ Is he the leader, and their first approach with the masked man was just a misleading tactic? But he wasn't at the meeting before... _

Shouta rubs at his tired eyes as they all bid Nezu farewell, promising to come to him if there are any problems — far too formal in the way that all new employees try to impress their boss.

They've got the act going right down to their choice of clothing; professionally casual, as Hizashi would say, but different enough to hint at their personal preferences.

A headache starts to pound behind his eyes and Shouta rubs harder, enough to see white spots dancing in the black. He drops his hands with a muted sigh and forces his mind to slow down. 

He's reading too much into everything, a sure sign of his fatigue.

What's done is done and what happens will happen, he knows his role and, like always, he'll do his best where he can. He already knows about the reason they are really here, and that's more than the rest of the staff — they are here to help, they are not a threat. Treating them as such will only cause unnecessary problems. He'll keep an eye on them, but there's no point to analysing the ANBU for things they won't show.

His headache recedes only a fraction, but it's enough to feel better.

He looks to his new staff members and tips his head to the hallway. "Let's go."

* * *

The door shuts behind them with a soft click, and for a few moments, nobody moves.

Kakashi flicks out a quick hand sign and bags drop to the floor in muted thumps, his team springing into action.

Kakashi and Shisui, both with heightened eyesight, start going through the rooms of their new residence in Alliance Heights, feeling up the walls and under every surface they come across for any cameras or listening devices.

After a good 30 minutes of thorough inspection, Kakashi deems his side of the small dorm eyes and ears free, and heads up the stairs to find Shisui. Once he gets the all clear they head down to rest of the team waiting in the common room.

"We're good to go," Kakashi announces.

Both Genma and Tenzou nod in acknowledgement, grabbing their bags and heading for the rest of the rooms to bug them.

Shisui takes his backpack, rifling through it before throwing a packet his way. Kakashi moves to turn towards the windows but catches the faint sound of crinkling and a whiff of chocolate.

"Really?" Kakashi asks disdainfully, eyeing the brown smudge on Shisui's chin and the packet of brownies he tries to hide with sticky fingers.

Shisui's eyes round innocently. "What?"

Kakashi's ears flatten and his expression goes deadpan. 

Realising that he's not going to be able to wiggle his way out of being caught, Shisui's eyes narrow into a judgemental glare.

"Hey! Just because you don't like them doesn't mean you have to ruin them for the rest of us," Shisui pouts, hugging the packet to his chest like it's his child.

Kakashi hums, unimpressed. "Get the equipment dirty, and you'll be cleaning out the locker room,  _ again _ ."

He turns around, ignoring Shisui's comment of: " _ everyone likes brownies, what's wrong with you _ ," but stops in his tracks when someone clears their throat. 

Kakashi turns to Kurenai and cringes internally. Silence stretches between them and she shifts uncomfortably, folding her arms in front of herself. She reeks of discomfort.

He probably doesn't smell any better.

"You should…" Kakashi starts, but trails off when he can't think of anything for her to do.

"...secure our communication lines-" Kurenai offers. 

"Yes," Kakashi urges, far too quickly.

Kurenai nods jerkely, picks up her bag, hesitates, before awkwardly pointing to the kitchen and leaving.

Kakashi fights a frustrated sigh.

_ It just had to be her. _

"Oh, oh, kami-sama...that was… _ beautiful _ ," Shisui wheezes out between muffled laughter.

Kakashi shoots him a nasty glare, ignoring the way his tail fights to tuck between his legs in embarrassment.

"I'm taking upstairs," Kakashi says, grateful for the way his voice stays steady.

Shisui cocks his head with a feral grin. "Weren't you going to do the door?"

Kakashi smacks Shisui with his tail on the way up to add motion sensors to their windows — just in case someone comes to say hello unannounced.

It's all too quick before they're all done with their respective tasks.

"So," Genma says, putting the water bottles he grabbed from the fridge on the coffee table everyone was sitting around, "All Might."

"I definitely didn't expect to see him, and certainly not as a teacher," Tenzou says quietly, with a touch of awe coloring his voice. It's a poorly hidden secret that he idolizes the Pro.

Shisui scoffs."Do you think he even has the qualifications to be one?"

It isn't a secret at all that Shisui doesn't care much for the man.

"Do we?" Kurenai counters.

Shisui's face scrunches up, but he relents. "Touché," he says in a thick French accent.

"It does make our jobs easier, having him here. Once the media gets wind of it, everyone's going to know that the No. 1 Hero is at UA's back. Chances of an attack are low," Genma muses, bringing everyone back to what's important.

"But never zero. Whoever has the guts to attack UA will either have to be extremely dumb or extremely smart," Kakashi says, shifting his gaze outside the window. “All Might is just one man, there are ways to get around him."

"So we go forward as planned, stick tight to the kids and prepare them for war. Doesn't sound that hard," Shisui drawls.

"You've clearly never worked with teenagers before," Kurenai deadpans

Shisui opens his mouth to speak but Kurenai cuts in. " _ Normal _ teenagers."

Shisui pouts.

Kakashi speaks before Tenzou can jump to his teammate's defence. "Then we're all on the same page; keep the kids safe, train them, and if any trouble comes along we fall back and let the Pros handle it."

"Aww man," Shusui whines.

"The kids are our top priority," Genma stresses.

"Life's so unpredictable; one day you're taking down Yakuza and the next your babysitting hero-wannabes and a bear-mouse-rat thing is your boss," Shisui says, sniffing dramatically before stuffing a brownie in his mouth.

A heavy silence settles over them as they each mourn the loss of decent missions.

"Could be worse, you could always end up on a mission where you and your partner are forced to dress up in maid costumes and perf-"

"Shut it!" Kurenai and Kakashi snap at Genma.

Before the man can get the idea of fleeing into his head Kakashi lunges, his powerful legs kicking the one-seat sofa over. He faintly registers the crash, but he's too occupied with smothering Genma into the couch cushions.

(He notes that the man's anger had receded from earlier, although the scent was still there. He'd have to keep an eye on it.)

"Alright, let's go over our cover stories one more time before heading out to explore," Kakashi says, parroting the Principal's earlier words while digging his knee into Genma's side, who lets out a pathetic plea through a weeze.

Shisui groans. "Why? It's not like the teachers will notice."

Kakashi slowly turns his head to him, surprised at the uncharacteristic arrogance wafting off of him. "We didn't get to prepare for this nearly as much as I wanted to. A slip up, no matter how small could cost us the entire operation." 

_ You know this _ , he doesn't add.

"But since you like the idea so much," Kakashi continues sarcastically, "why don't you start."

Shisui ducks his head and smiles apologetically.

The smile makes Kakashi itch.

"Ueda Shisui," he begins, the fake surname rolling off of his tongue without a hitch. "I work for the government to help train the newbies. I just turned 18 a few weeks ago, though, so I'm still a combat assistant in training—because of a technicality, of course. Despite my age I still kick ass. My quirk; Body Flicker, which lets me teleport myself and anything I touch, makes me more than capable of getting to you before you know it."

Shisui flops down. "Should I list my likes and dislikes too?"

Noting that Shisui didn't so much as stutter, he shakes his head. They had to push the two youngests' ages up one year to make their covers more realistic, and thankfully it didn't look like it would be a problem.

"It's unlikely they'll try and dig into our personal lives. The teachers would think of it as unprofessional and the children would see it as being intrusive."

Everyone looks at him in poorly hidden surprise.

"I did my research," he mumbles, scratching his nose. "As long as we stick to our respective personalities everyone should be happy. Throw in a hobby or something every now and then to keep things interesting."

Turning to Tenzou, Kakashi nods.

"Ito Yamato," Tenzou starts with the name he picked for himself. "I just started my training with the government, since I'm 17 I'm starting at being a combat assistant," he says smoothly while changing his sentence to not parrot Shisui's. "My Quirk; Heartwood, which let's me manipulate surrounding plant life, can be used in a variety of training methods which has helped me get into their instructor program earlier."

Kakashi nods his approval and his kohai beems. Something in Kakashi hums, pleased, at seeing that rare genuine smile, but he quickly moves on and gets off of Genma, to the man's exaggerated relief. 

(Now isn't the time for pinching Tenzou's cheeks.)

"Suzuki Genma," The man groans beside Kakashi while rubbing his back. "And I know the rest," he says moodily.

Feeling a little guilty Kakashi sighs. "Fine, just give my your age and your quirk."

"Age; 21, I started at the instructor program at 19. Quirk; Toxic Touch, I can secrete chemicals from my body."

Kakashi hums and nonchalantly turns to Kurenai, forcing himself to look her in the eye.

She clears her throat. "Yamazaki Kurenai. I'm 20 and I've been with the instructors program for 3 years. I'm a combat instructor for those interested in joining the government's hero program, but have difficulties with their quirks. My own quirk; Mirage, which let's me create illusions, helps people overcome their obstacles and strengthen the mind."

Perfect is the only way Kakashi would describe her summary.

"Inoue Kakashi," he begins instead. "I'm 19 years old and a newly appointed combat instructor. My quirk: Wolf, in which I possesses enhanced abilities of a wolf, let's me focus on the training of the body for combat situations and strategy building to combat physical weakness."

"It looks like we're all set then," Genma says, grabbing the map the Principal gave them. "Who's taking where?"

* * *

Kakashi walks into classroom 1A and immediately cringes, his ears snapping back with surprising force and his nose scrunching up to the point where it could've just as well crawled into his skull. He clutches the backpack he brought with him in a death grip, willing himself not to stuff his face into it for some decent oxygen.

The place reeks of excitement, anger, disappointment and — worst of all — sweat. Kakashi takes another step forward and his eyes start to water.

_ It's practically seeped into the walls. _

He sorely regrets wearing a standard medical mask instead of one of his scent filters if every class is going to smell like this.

Steeling himself, Kakashi locks the door behind him, straightens and marches to the teachers desk, opening drawers and sifting through paperwork and assignments. As expected, he doesn't find anything interesting beside a few notes on upcoming class discussions — Aizawa Shouta didn't come off as the type to mix his personal life with business.

Kakashi tucks the notes into its drawer and organizes everything back to their original places. He looks up, eyeing the rows of desks in front of him with thinly vailed distrust.

If he's learned anything from Naruto it's that children are  _ dirty _ . He's not sure at which age hygiene starts to make its presence known, but he'll be damned if he doesn't go into this prepared.

He riffles through his bag and pulls out a pair of latex gloves, carefully snapping them on. 

(He curses Sarutobi as he steps up to his first desk of many for the night. He doesn't necessarily have to go through every inch of every class, but Kakashi hasn't survived this long by doing things halfway.

_ The old man's laughing at him right now, he can practically see him hover over that all seeing crystal ball everyone keeps speculating about. _

There are an abundance of rumors on what the Sandaime's quirk is, and most of them factor in the crystal ball the man takes with him everywhere.

Personally Kakashi thinks it's all bullshit, purely for the fact that the Sandaime has an odd sense of humor Kakashi's barred witness to far too many times.)

He gets to the last row of desks before something catches his attention.

At first he thinks it's just another textbook left behind. Like the rest of the papers and books he's found he just skims over the cover, not really taking the words in before he quickly pages through the book, absentmindedly looking at the sentences that look more like incoherent rambling. It's when he stops on the last page of writing that his brain seems to catch up with the words.

_ Interesting _ , is his first thought.  _ Advanced _ , is his second.

Kakashi pages back to what would be the beginning of a lengthy description on a specific quirk. Glancing up at a name, he determines it to be based off of a Pro, a fairly new one if he's up to date with the news.

'New' implies that there can't be much information on the hero yet. No good hero would give the public information on their quirk beside the name. That would mean that at least half of the information on these pages are speculation — and fairly probable by the looks of it.

It's an impressive display of information gathering and deduction.

Kakashi flips the book over to it's cover.

"Hero Analysis for the Future," Kakashi murmurs to himself, turning to the first page.

He reads for a couple of minutes, engrossed in the well of useful information — thoughts on quirk usage and tactic maneuvers — when he hears faint, but hurried steps down the hall. His ears twist in the direction of the door and he focuses on the sound.

The speed of the steps either means their in a hurry or nervous. Kakashi quickly looks through the last few desks and doesn't find anything — there's nothing particularly important in any of the desks, including the teacher's.

Kakashi looks down at the book in his hands.

He's putting his bet on it being a student.

His first instinct is to make a break for it, but the cameras that should be outside would be a problem. Jumping out of the window would look suspicious.

Turning around with book in hand Kakashi flops down in Aizawa's chair, places his paws on the desk, flips to a random page and holds it in front of his face.

The footsteps stop at the door for a few seconds, the sound of jingling accompanying the wait before what must be a keycard slides across the door, which opens with a soft click. 

Footsteps rush in before they stumble to a halt. Slowly Kakashi lowers his hands, peaking over to wild green curls and wide startled eyes. 

"Can I help you?" Kakashi asks nonchalantly after a while of staring at each other, returning his eyes to the paper in front of him and turning a page.

"Oh, uh-well, I asked Aizawa-sensei if I c-could borrow his keys. I forgot m-my book," the boy nervously gestures to what Kakashi's holding. The boy's scent is a little harder to make out with all the other smells assaulting his nose, but the nervousness wafting off of him is hard to miss.

_ He certainly looks like could have written the scatterbrained sentences I've just read _ .

Kakashi feigns great surprise. "Oh! This is yours?" He looks back to the page again before he returns his gaze to the boy, expression serious. "This is impressive. How long have you been working on this?"

The boy stammers and blushes. "A f-few weeks, Ka-chan exploded my other one."

Kakashi's tail twitches in surprise. "All of it?"

"Y-yes."

Kakashi watches the boy figit, bemused. He blinks, pulls himself out of half made plans on what to do with the information in his hands, and stands. "I haven't introduced myself, how rude. Inoue Kakashi, I'm going to be an instructor for one of your classes," He says, holding the book out to the boy.

"Izuku Midoriya, I'm a student in class 1A," The boy says, taking his notes, lingering on his class number with a tone of amazement.

"I've gathered," Kakashi chuckles, amused.

The boy blushes, stammering about getting back to his dorm before Kakashi waves in dismissal, taking pity on the kid who books it out of the room soon after.

Kakashi sits down on a desk and hums.

_ Izuku Midoriya _ .  _ I'll have to remember that. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry y'all. Things are going to get good.
> 
> *WallPetal's evil laughter as she watches her character floundering*


	10. Hey...so I’m sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please read the following chapter.

I’m so so very sorry to do this, but I’ve decided to no longer continue with TNOT.  
I never planned to so much as think of abandoning it, but this year has really thrown me for a loop. I haven’t updated in forever and it feels like I’ve lost track of what happened in earlier chapters, what’s been said and what hasn’t. It’s become more of a chore to write it than anything else.  
Frankly I just don’t enjoy it anymore.

While I no longer want to continue this fic, I’m more than willing to let someone else continue it. I’ve got a bunch of notes, outlines and such. If anyone is interested in the story and where I wanted it to go, send me a message. ( ADOPTED BY Jorque) 

Lastly I just want to add on...WOW. What an INCREDIBLE amount of support I’ve gotten this past year (on my first big fic no less). The only reason I’ve gotten this far is because of all the kind words (and my very patient beta). Some days I’d read your comments over and over to serve as my motivation. Thank You.

While I’m sad that I’m leaving TNOT here, I’m glad that I tried bringing it to life. I’ve learned so much and I feel like I’ve improved.

So. Lesson learned. Start small instead of just jumping into the deep end.

That’s it folks. See you in my next, hopefully better prepared, fics.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll update when I update - will try my best to not leave it for more than 3 weeks, but no promises.
> 
> BTW: I live off of comments


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